Well, I was all set to write about the Collingswood Farmers' Market which is every Saturday from May to Dec and is under the Speedline (the train I ride to work each day). PK and I were going to go over this morning and check out some local produce and possibly hear some music. I was looking forward to some Jersey tomatoes and maybe some corn and some really good bread. New Jersey is the Garden State and we are lucky to live in an area with many small farms.

Notice the was in that statement. Yesterday I spent the day fighting off a sinus induced migraine. The abrupt change in weather made my sinuses go crazy and my head felt like it would explode. With the absence of decongestant, the best I can do is dull the pain. I made it through the day and was sitting on my bed quietly working on my shawl. I was making progress and started to think I just might make it for the wedding next week. Then I made the mistake of answering the phone. It was my cousin letting me know that she had to call the ambulance because her sister was "stuck in the bathtub and can't get out". (go ahead and laugh, I'll wait). She'd been vomiting for the last few days and was constipated and instead of going to the doctor, she decided to take a bath. My cousin was upset and was calling for emergency help and needed me to come to the house and take the laundry to be dried. It was 9 pm and I didn't see the emergency of the situation (I could pick up the wet clothes in the morning) but being the good person I am, I went. I checked on my aunt who was anxious but seemed ok. We discussed the fact that my cousin probably had out of whack blood sugar (she's diabetic) and having mental issues. My aunt was taking her medicine and going to bed. I picked up 6 loads of wet clothes and put them into the back of my car.

I left the clothes in the car overnight and took them to the laundramat this morning. I was going to just dry them at my house but it would have taken all night and most of today. By the time I got through and got the clothes home, it was late and the mood for the market was shot. Maybe one week soon we can go. Pk and I dropped the dry clothes off at my aunt's house. No one knows what happened at the hospital. No phone calls or reports. I figure someone will let me know sooner or later.

I am angry at my cousin for letting this stuff keep happening. For being an adult and not acting like one. For making a mess of her life and expecting everyone around her to keep cleaning up after her. She seems to forget that the rest of us have lives, too. I can usually find compassion in my self for anyone who is in need but I am having a hard time here. I guess it would be easier if I felt she was trying to do something to help herself but she is content to let everyone around her take care of her. My hope is that they will put her on a psych floor in the hospital and diagnose her with what I think is bipolar disorder and start her on some medication. Maybe then she'll start to get her life together.

And then when I opened my email today, this was waiting for me:

Love and compassion are necessities, not luxuries. Without them, humanity cannot survive. ~H.H. The 14th Dalai Lama

The universe is once again telling me something. So, I will wait until I hear what's going on and see where I can help. Because I believe love and compassion are necessities.

In other news, I am up to repeat 13 of 14 on chart 2 of my shawl. That's over 130 rows (it sounds better that way). I only have one more repeat and then 10 more rows and I'm done. I'm thinking I may be able to finish it in time to wear it next weekend. But I don't want to get too cocky. We all know how that works......

PK is vacuuming the pool and I am getting set to clean the house and do my own laundry for the week. By the time I get done inside, the pool will be ready for me to jump in and float around. Bliss. Pure bliss. (that's some of our local wildlife enjoying the cool water) My head still hurts but it is getting better and hopefully I'll get some knitting time in today. Cross your fingers.


Sheepish Annie said…
Hmmm...I'm hearing a touch of Borderline Personality Disorder in that story. Your cousin reminds me of a couple of former clients. (isn't that always the way? you just keep seeing them even if you aren't working with them anymore!)

You are a good person for stepping up even though it was grossly unfair to put you in that position. Hopefully, now that the crisis is passed you can get some rest and relaxation. Take care of yourself. There is still a great deal of summer left!
amy said…
I'm sorry about the headaches. I hope they settle down soon.

Relationships that aren't reciprocal will wear anyone out. It's kind of you to step in, but don't forget it's okay to say "yes" to yourself first, too.
DPUTiger said…
Love your local wildlife!!! Hope the pool was enjoyable. and good luck with the shawl. I can't believe the finale on the champs elyesees is tomorrow!
beginnerknitter said…
I'm having those horrible sinus migranes too! I feel your pain! Feel better soon!
Jeanne said…
Sorry you haven't been feeling well, and that you are having family issues. I hope you feel better soon and that you got some time to your self this weekend to relax.
Bezzie said…
We didn't get to go to the farmers market either--but for different reasons. Nothing quite so sensational. I have consoled myself with "it's around til September."
Julie said…
Hugs on the cousin. Big hugs. Don't feel guilty for how you FEEL. We've all got enough problems without worrying over that too. Control your behavior, of course, but for heaven's sake, give yourself permission to FEEL what ever you feel. Particularly when your feelings sound perfectly reasonable, like now. Um, if no one else in the family is willing to step up with the tough love aspect, have you considered it? Or won't it work? (That's my role in my family, that's why I ask.)

At any rate, hugs, and go easy on yourself for being annoyed. Even your annoyance is linked to love for your family.
My favorite saying..."we make plans, God laughs". I hope you get to the market soon. Your pool looks so inviting!
Anonymous said…
It seems to me, what is it already was discussed, use search in a forum.

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