Sunday, June 28, 2009

I wonder why it is that some weeks I notice lots of interesting things to blog about and can't wait to share them and others I am mute. This was a mute week. Since we last spoke on Tuesday, life has been quiet. It's been a round of work and home and playing Tetris. I have knit very little. I spun some.
I finished plying the silky merino that Jejune sent me. I plied it with some sparkly thread and its beautiful. There isn't much of it, almost 2 ounces of fingering/lace weight yarn but it's so pretty. I started to play with some of the alpaca we got a few weeks ago. It's got quite a halo about it and is a pretty oatmeal color. And I've been working on some plain socks. Just quiet stuff, nothing flashy or challenging.


Today we awoke to blue skies with puffy white clouds. It was lovely. Pk and I decided to go the Columbus flea market since we didn't go last week (rain) for Father's Day.
We got there around 9:30 and the parking lot was full and look at the crowd. The sun was hot but there was a breeze that seemed perfectly timed to cool us off. I found a good deal on a brand new (still shrink wrapped) set of expensive colored pencils for Elanor and a hat for Pk and a Navy patch of the USS Eisenhower, (the ship Pk and my ex-brother in law, Smoke served on in the late 70's). I bought two patches, one for Pk and one to send to Smoke. Pk and Smoke became good friends while in the Navy and shared adventures as they sailed the Mediterranean. He lives in Seattle and someday we'll get out there to visit. For now, I'll send him the patch and let him know we're thinking about him.



Pk came home happy because he found an old tool. He belongs to the old tool network and these guys spend their time talking about old tools. This is a saw vise and you use it to hold saws while you sharpen them. (Who says I can't have an educational blog? You just learned something!) It is cast iron and weighs a lot. He also bought some little rusty bits for sharpening something. He knows way more about my hobby than I know of his.




Speaking of my hobby, there wasn't a skein of yarn or a needle to be found anywhere today. All these tables of stuff and not one knitting related thing. Pk offered to stop at my favorite lys on the way home but I declined. (ok, get up off the floor, I know it sounds crazy). I really don't need any yarn or roving right now and knew if I went in there, I'd spend money. I'll make up for it at the Garden State Sheep Show in September.




We brought home some fresh bread that is so good we had to tie up the bag and walk away or there would be none left to have with the spare ribs I'm cooking for dinner.




The home page on my computer is set for msn.com. It's a way to keep up with odd things happening in the entertainment world and often bits of cultural weirdness that you can't help but find fascinating. Today, there is an article on marriage and why it isn't culturally relevant anymore. It's here, if you're interested. It's kind of funny because Pk and I have been talking about marriage and how some people have a hard time with it and others don't. He was getting a hair cut and the men around him were not cut out for being husbands. They were talking about their wives and ex/wives (one guy had 3) and the problems they caused( because it's the women's fault). It made Pk smile and he said how glad he is that he gets to come home to me. I'm glad I have him to come home to. We will celebrate our 28th anniversary this October and when people ask "how?", I have no real answer. I could take the easy (and true) way and say "I married my best friend" but that's not all there is either.

So, what do you think? Is marriage still relevant in today's society? And if not, what, if anything, do we replace it with? I don't know what I think, yet. I read the article and found it interesting but I don't think I agree with her. What do you think?








Tuesday, June 23, 2009

I walked out of my house today, on my way to work, with bare legs, bare arms and a heart full of optimism. There was some blue substance where the sky should be (it might be cloudless space, it's been so long, I've forgotten) and I was determined to feel a little like spring/summer. I wore a skirt. And sandals.

Usually, by this time, we've all been gradually baring body parts to the sun and warmth. This year we've all kept covered up and shivered when we wore short sleeves. There were the few brave souls who wore the shorts and tank tops despite the cold, rainy days. I was not one of them. Today was the first time I've gone out without arm and leg covering. It felt wonderful to feel the cool breeze and not have a jacket on. Then Pk pointed out the very dark clouds that were going our way. I resolutely turned my head toward the blue horizon and moved forward. I am sitting at my desk watching the sky become overcast (the clouds could keep right on moving) and feeling safe because I always keep a light jacket at my desk (the a/c here is VERY cold) and I have an umbrella. I may get wet going home but it was totally worth it to have a summer moment this morning.

Thanks for not shunning me for my post about my father. I know family relationships are often hard. And no one who does not live in the family can know what's going on inside. I hope I didn't give the impression that my childhood was a bad one. It wasn't. My parents just weren't good with praise. I think they were always afraid we would become conceited. My sister was "the pretty one" and it was "a good thing I was smart" (I know, ouch). It took Pk a long time to convince me that he thought I was beautiful. He helped me get over many insecurities about myself. My parents took care of us in the best way they knew how and if we had all stayed young, dependent children, everything would have been fine forever and ever. But, of course that doesn't happen.

And now we have families of our own and while I don't know about my sister, (she stopped talking to me when my parents did), my brother is striving to make a happy place for his kids. And me? I have managed to build what I wanted. A family where you are loved and accepted for who you are, not what I think you should be. My children drive me crazy sometimes and I don't always agree with their decisions but I remind myself it's their lives, not mine. And we're all happier for it.

I have been knitting but not a lot. I've been resting and sleeping on and off. My body seems to need extra sleep, probably after the last few weeks, it's tired. I find myself asleep in the chair with needles and yarn in my hands. Just like an old lady. There is usually a cat in my lap. I only hope I'm not drooling......I want to go back to working on Em's sweater. My hands are feeling pretty good and if the weather stays warm, I'll have a good chance to give it some quality time.

Happy Tuesday! Hope it's a dry one.

Sunday, June 21, 2009

Today is Father's Day here in the US. (and the first day of summer but we won't talk about that since it's raining and the temp is about 10 degrees below what it should be). I haven't seen my Dad for a number of years. We've had a strange relationship since he married my mother when I was 7.

My mom was a single mother for a number of years when she met my dad. When they married, my sister was 5 and I was 7. She was still young enough to be a "daddy's girl" but I was not. Or maybe I was just not inclined to be one, I don't know. It was strange having this person come into our lives. A person with rules and thoughts about how things should be done. My mother let him take over in a lot of ways and our lives changed, mostly for the better.

When I was 10, my brother was born. To give my dad credit, he never made a distinction between my brother who was his biological child and my sister and I. In 1972, he adopted us legally. I always thought we had a good family.(until I made a good family of my own and could see the difference) My childhood memories are not bad ones. As long as we followed the rules and did what we were told, things were good. My dad was not one to cross. He had a wicked temper and tended to yell first and listen later. I made a decision that I would not speak in anger to my children based on growing up with my dad.

When Pk and I started dating while in high school, my dad made it clear he was not happy. He made it difficult for us to have a relationship. When Pk went to talk to him one day, to request that if he had problems he talk directly to him and not put me in the middle, my dad blew his top. And that's the stated reason why he didn't come to our wedding.

Our early married years were tough as I tried to balance learning to be married to a man I loved and keep a relationship with my parents. When the girls came along, it became tougher. My father saw my children a handful of times. He said he was afraid he would become close to them and then Pk wouldn't let him see them. As if I would stand for something like that.

Eventually, after a trip down to see them (they live about an hour away) and my dad left to walk the dogs and reminded me that my mother wasn't strong and we shouldn't stay long, the girls and I decided we felt unwanted and that was the last visit.

I keep up with them through my brother (who has his own tumultuous relationship with them). I know my sister sees them often. They welcome her into their lives. I've often thought it was because she NEEDS them and I just loved them.

Very often when people hear bits of this, they say in semi-accusing tones "but they're your parents!". To which I reply, "but I'm their daughter!". When you hit your head against a brick wall over and over, eventually you end up with a headache and a bloody wall. When the headache got bad enough, I decided to stop. And my life was calmer and more peaceful.

I'm not sure where this came from today. Maybe because I was mentally comparing Pk's relationship with our children and mine with my own father. We were determined to have a happy family and let our children grow into people with their own thoughts and ideas (Boy, did they ever!). I think we've succeeded. My children have a good relationship with their father and know he's there for them unconditonally. I didn't say they don't have their share of fights, what kind of family has no fights? But there is mostly love and respect and caring. And humor. Lots of humor.

I've been blessed to be married to a man I call my best friend. He's the person I think of first when I hear something interesting or have some bit of news. He's the shoulder I lean on and the person I reach out to when I have a nightmare. He gets my jokes and obscure references and for 28 + years, he's been the love of my life. My girls are lucky to have a father who would step in front of a train for them.

So, Happy Father's Day, my love. You're the best.

Friday, June 19, 2009

Well, we made it to Friday. And despite my vow to not wish away days or try to hurry through the week to get to the weekend, I am very glad it's Friday.


I've tried to give Em some space so I haven't called or texted. She surprised me by texting me while Pk and I were eating dinner at our favorite Chinese restaurant. She said she thought I might me anxious (me? anxious?) and she wanted me to know she was ok. I told her I'm not anxious but caring and I knew she was ok. I'm not worried about her (well,not alot). I'm sure she'll be fine. She's tough and is healing nicely.

On Tuesday, while she slept, I finished grafting together the North Sea Shawl. I tried to take some photos and they're not too bad but with 14 days of rain out of the last 18, it's hard. Here it is posing with my spinning wheel.

Some stats:

North Sea Shawl from Folk Shawls by Cheryl Oberle. I used Mountain Colors silk/merino blend in Wild Horses. I don't think the colors look anything like Horses. They remind me of the sea and that's why I chose it (and it goes with lots of things in my closet). It is light and airy and lacy. I have no idea why I am drawn to knit these kind of things except that they are beautiful and I love beautiful things and am thrilled to be able to say "I made that." Shawls and scarves have never been my style but I'm going to make an effort to wear this as an accent with my summer clothes.


I did a bad thing last night. I have 3 pair of socks otn right now. I have Pk's brown stripes, Em's Zaps and the purple and green ones for my aunt. Was I satisfied with those? Obviously not because I kept looking at the lovely cake of Purple Trainwreck and decided I just had to play with it. Kate asked for socks and I chose Spring Forward from Knitty Summer 2008. Easy, easy pattern and the PTW is gorgeous. I'm having that "oooh I can't wait to see what comes up next" moments and I'm in love. If I make the socks short anklets, I could get two pairs out of this and make a pair for Elanor, too. I have never had so many projects going at the same time and it feels weird. But, I'm obviously ok with it because I'm not making any real move to fix it.



Last weekend Pk made me a fountain. A few years ago, I got a fountain as a gift. It was mostly a bowl of rocks with a bubbling bit of water. I loved it. I like the sound of water. It died and we had a different fountain like this one. When we put it up in the living room, I couldn't believe how quickly it seemed to dry up. It needed filling every day. One day while I was sitting in the living room, I saw one of the cats drinking out of it. Well, that explained it. The cats were using it as a drinking fountain even though they had water on the floor in a bowl. After a few years, it died because the pump would get clogged with cat hair and I would forget to clean it out. We had two of these. The last one got destroyed in the Great Electrical Surge of '09. I really missed having a fountain and the cats missed it too. Problem was, we couldn't find one in any of the stores around here. There were 300 dollar outdoor fountains but all I wanted was a 30 dollar fountain to put on the table.


So, when you can't find what you want, you make it. We bought the pump first (at the local garden store). Then we went searching for a planter that we thought would work. It had to be kinda deep but not too deep and not too wide. We found one we liked. It was ceramic which necessitated buying a ceramic bit for the drill so Pk could make a hole in it for the pump cord. He drilled and pulled the wire through and replaced the plug and filled the hole with silicone. We bought a length of tube and some rocks and Voila! A new fountain. The cats love it and have already taken to drinking from it. I like the sound of bubbling water. It gives life to the house.
Our weekend plans include some food shopping and some play time and some time off for Pk since Sunday is Father's Day. I was hoping for a day at the lake or a picnic but the weather will not be nearly nice enough for that. There was some sun today and I revelled in it. It felt good on my arms and face. Makes me hopeful that summer might actually start this weekend.

Thursday, June 18, 2009


Good morning! Once again it's raining. And the National Weather people say it's supposed to rain until Monday. Sigh. Everything is a lovely shade of green but it's hard to enjoy it if you are stuck indoors.
Here is a meme from Bells. It was an interesting set of questions and helped me pass the morning before I start work.

What Is Your Current Obsession?

Spinning. I finished some Purple Trainwreck and I love how it came out. I have two bags of alpaca to wash, card and spin. A whole summer's worth.


What Are You Wearing Today?

I'm at work so I'm wearing grey pants and a sweater with a purple and white and green argyle pattern on the front. Oh, and wool socks. It's June and I should be wearing something gauzy and light. But they're calling for cool (and rainy) weather again today. At this rate, the summer clothes will be put away unworn.


What's for dinner?


It's only 8:30 in the morning but I'm thinking I'll make some shrimp scampi. I have a doctor's appointment at 5 so I'll want something easy to prepare when I get home.

What Would You Eat for Your Last Meal?


I'm not sure. There was a time when I would have said lasagna and salad and garlic bread but I've been eating lighter as I get older (I wish it would show more!). I think a good French Onion Soup and some crusty bread and strawberry shortcake.


What's the Last Thing You Bought?

Fried chicken, cole slaw and biscuits from Church's chicken, a local place that makes the best fried chicken. We were coming home from Em's on Tuesday and were too tired to face the kitchen.

What Are You Listening To Right Now?


The sounds of my workplace coming to life. People are starting to move around the halls. On my mp3 player is Selected Shorts from npr.


If you could go anywhere in the world in the next hour, where would you go?

Seattle, Washington. We were planning to visit there this spring but other things got in the way. I'd visit Pete's Navy buddy and then find my way to Oregon to see Roxie and then if I had the time and money, I'd find my way down to California to see Amy Lane and then over to Arizona to see Galad. What a trip that would be!


Which language do you want to learn?


I had four years of French in high school and loved it. Everything sounds good when you say it in french! I think I'd also like to learn arabic. I love the way it looks and I'd love to be able to read it. And then maybe Yiddish.


What do you love most about where you currently live?


I love the fact that I can be at the beach in a little over an hour, in the mountains in three hours and deep in the woods in less than an hour. And there's a city right next door if I want lights and entertainment. And I love my quiet little town.



What is your favourite colour?


Pink. I grew up in the heyday of the feminist movement and with a mother who loathed pink so it was not a color that was around much but I secretly loved it. When my girls were little, I tried to encourage them to accept pink but they all rebelled and won't touch it. I still love pink. I have a pink cell phone and a pink wallet and have just started to bring some pink into my wardrobe.


What is your favourite piece of clothing in your own wardrobe?


A pair of Lee Riders jeans. They fit comfortably and look good with sneakers or boots or flip flops. I have four identical pairs.



What were you doing ten years ago?


About the same things I am doing now. I had the same job but my family was younger so I was needed more. I spent more time going to school functions and class trips. Sometimes I miss that. I was not knitting or crocheting. I did embroidery and I sewed. I made all the Halloween costumes (except for the year Kate wanted to be a Power Ranger, it was easier and cheaper to buy it) for the girls.


Describe your personal style?


I like to be comfortable and look feminine without being too frilly. I wear what I like whether it is currently in style or not. I tend to like classic things but once in a while splurge on something that I know will not last long.


If you had $300 right now what would you spend it on?


Clothes. I love to buy clothes. I'd clean out the wardrobe and replace my favorite pieces with some new ones. And some shoes. I haven't really bought shoes since I bought some danskos a while ago. They're what I wear most of all.


What are you going to do after this?


Answer some phone calls and drink my coffee. I have seven treatment plans to write and then a group to run.


What inspires you?


The people I work with. They have serious mental illness and despite that, manage to get up and get on with their lives. It makes me annoyed with myself that I complain about my problems.



What are your favourite films?


The Women (both versions). Wonderful look at women of all kinds.


Who's work/designs are you inspired by?


Susan Pandorf of Sunflower designs. I have watched her business grow over the past two years and it has been amazing. She has a fertile mind and is so clever. She sees design ideas in everything around her.



Your favourite books?


And Ladies of the Club by Helen Hooven Santmeyer. JRR Tolkien's books. And almost anything written by Stephen King. I know, I know but he's so entertaining. A Brief History of Time by Stephen Hawking and Joseph Campbell's The Power of Myth.


Do You Collect Anything?


Not really but I have a collection of tea pots. It started innocently enough when I asked for a teapot that had belonged to my grandmother. And then I got one from my other grandmother. My aunt decided I must want more so she bought me one that plays 'tea for two' when you pick it up. She has also bought me many, many little tea pot shaped tchatchkes.


What makes you follow a blog?


I usually start out by following a link from a comment and then if I like it I come back. Then I start to feel like I know this person and we are some how connected. Sometimes I come back because they challenge my way of thinking.


What was the most enjoyable thing you did today?


Since it's a work day and still early in the morning, the most enjoyable thing was the train ride in with Peter Kevin.


What's one thing you dream of doing?


Winning the lottery and opening my own mental health center where I would pay people a good salary and offer services to people in need whether they could pay or not. It would be a pleasant place with happy employees.
So, there you have it. Some more obscure information about me. Anyone interested in sharing?

Wednesday, June 17, 2009

Just a drive-by post to update Em's condition. They released her at noon yesterday and Pk and I drove her home. The drive was hard because of road conditions. If we were rich, I'd have rented a limosine to give her a bump free ride but I'm not sure if that would have been enough. We filled the pain med prescription and after some broth and a pill, Em slept for 3 hours. Probably the longest stretch of uninterrupted sleep she's had in a week. She was more like her old self when she woke up. We waited until Jim came home and then I made a pot of chicken soup and Pk and I headed for home.

The relief we feel is overwhelming. We can return to our regular (boring) schedules. And worry about normal things like what to have for dinner. Em is cleared for any normal activity she feels up to except for lifting. Each day as she rests more and gets stronger, life will go back to normal (or what passes for normal in our family).

Phew! Normality is an underrated state of being.

Tuesday, June 16, 2009

Bringing our baby home from the hospital! Today!

Pk and I were there yesterday when they said the lymph system tests were all normal and the chest tube could come out. They let me stay with Em while they took it out. The Nurse Practitioner who took it out was good and it slid right out. All the IV's were taken out and only the "food" bag was left hanging. They told her when it was done, it would come out, too. So, for the first time in a week, Em could get up and move around without a huge pole riding shotgun.

They started the oral pain meds before they took off the IV ones. They make her very sleepy but eventually, her body will adjust and she'll be awake more. She says the pain came back very suddenly and she wasn't quite ready for the suddenness of it. The hospital staff is very good with pain management so they'll have her feeling good in no time.

We're going to set her up all comfortable and I'm going to make a pot of chicken soup for dinner. We'll probably stay until Jim comes home to take care of her and then we'll leave so she can have some peace. I think that she needs some peace right now. No more beeping machines and vital signs and needles. Just peace and quiet and some good food.

I want to show you photos of the fountain that Pk built for me but that will have to wait until there is some light. Maybe later today. One can only hope.

Sunday, June 14, 2009

It's Sunday night already and I'm wondering where the weekend went. I had promised myself some "normal" time and Saturday was it.


Friday, Pk and I took off from work early and went home and then to see Em. She was looking good and more alert. We stayed for a while and then came home and crashed. Saturday, I decided, was going to be for cleaning and laundry and then some spinning and knitting. I got up fairly early and got the cleaning done and the laundry well on its way by 11. That gave me all afternoon to spin in the sporatic sunshine. It rained halfway through the afternoon and the temp dropped significantly. It took away some of the humidity so it was all good. I finished plying the Purple Trainwreck and this is what it looks like before I washed it. It's hanging up to dry and feels light and fluffy. Kate is in love with the colors. I have enough for a pair of socks and she has dropped rather broad hints regarding some foot coverings.


And if that weren't beautiful enough, I started spinning some of this gorgeous silky merino that Jejune sent me (along with a violet crumble that mysteriously and quickly disappeared). It is the softest feeling roving. She said that it's something special that Australian scientists have come up with. I tried to look it up but couldn't find any other info on it. No matter. I'll just enjoy the soft silkiness and the bright colors.


I also spent some time with the knitting needles and the North Sea Shawl. I am in the home stretch. Only two more repeats then two rows of yo k2tog and I graft it together. Unfortunately, all the spinning has made my hands sore. Maybe I'll just lay off the knitting tonight.


Today, we got up and had some breakfast and then took Em some unsweetened tea. They keep giving her "unsweetened" drinks but it's really a misnomer. They are very sweet, just not sugared. She is not used to aspartamane or splenda or whatever they are using as a sweetener and just wanted some truly unsweetened tea. Pk brewed her a gallon of tea and we took it over this afternoon. She looks wonderful. The incision is healing up beautifully and she moves with fewer grimaces of pain. Of course, she is still on IV drugs so that helps. Em was a little upset today at the thought of having to stay in the hospital beyond Tuesday. They are letting her have some real food tomorrow and then will check the lymph levels and the chest tube output. If there is not an increase in liquid coming out then they will take out all the tubes and start her on oral pain meds and send her home on Tuesday. If there is an increase, then it's more testing and a "procedure" to "embolize" the lymph system. The doctor said there's a 20% chance they'll have to do the procedure. Naturally, Em is hoping they don't and that she can go home on Tuesday. I'm taking her some strawberries and homemade whipped cream after work tomorrow. And hopefully, we'll make plans to pick her up and take her home.


She's really handled this whole thing rather well. Not being able to eat for 5 days is a bummer but she handled that, too. The nursing staff all seem to like her and have been amazingly kind and helpful. It's made it easier for us to bear the idea of her being there.


We are sitting here just chillin' and mentally preparing for getting up for work tomorrow. Mondays are my really busy days but I don't think tomorrow is too bad. I'm listening to a book and Pk is playing a shoot-em-up game. It's too bad this doesn't allow you all to hear his creative profanity as he gets shot down. Again. I have to remind him that the windows are open and sometimes I'm sure the neighbors can hear him. I hope you all enjoyed your weekend. They sure are short.


And just because, here's one of the Jersey alpacas. He's all grey but has a white nose. His mother has one too. He is a gorgeous animal. He's only a year and a half old and looks like a teenaged boy to me. Kate is going to visit the farm one day next week. She and Pk are having detailed discussions on how they could raise alpacas. I just let them be. Everyone needs a dream.

Friday, June 12, 2009

With Emily's permission, I'd like to introduce you to Laslow-Mitford. Yes, that is the alien spine baby in all his glory. Kate photoshopped the tentacles and eyes but the rest of it is all L-M. The surgical team gave us several rather explicit photos which show where the tumor was seated on Em's spine and it's size in relation to her spine. I'll spare you the gory details. The chunk there on top that looks like a mohawk is the bit of Em's lung that they removed because L-M wouldn't let go without a fight.

Em is doing rather well. She drifts into and out of sleep because of the pain meds but is more alert and awake than a few days ago. She has intermittent interwebs so sometimes she is on facebook. Peter Kevin tried to reconnect her yesterday but had no luck. Some tech guys are coming to help her out today. Hopefully, they'll be successful. We think it's funny that the phone costs to use i and the television costs to use but the interwebs are free. Yay for technology!

There's a small complication and they are dealing with it. It means that the chest tube stays put for a while longer and she'll be in the hospital for a few days longer. She is up and moving around and the incision looks like it's healing nicely. All in all, she's doing well. I took her some intellectual reading material (Tattoo magazine, the National Enquirer, Glamour, oh and Vogue Knitting) so she's got something to keep her mind occupied when she can stay awake. She's feeling ready to try some knitting but it'll have to be mindless because she falls asleep in the middle of things.

Pk and I are doing well but we're tired. We have to remember to take some time and just relax. Em is in good hands and although she likes the company, she is ok when we're not there. There is the feeling that we should be there every waking moment but that's unrealistic. We went up after work yesterday and got home after 9 pm and ate some of the food Elanor had ready in the crock pot and went to bed. Today, we'll work half a day and go home and then come back and visit for a while. I'm not sure about the weekend but I will make sure there's some time for just doing relaxing things. I don't need for either one of us to get sick.

I have other photos of the tumor and the surgery and if you're one of those people who like to look at those things (I am) email me and I'll send you some. They're fascinating and really drive home the image that we are all just animated meat.

I hope you are all doing well and finding some time to do some fun things. I can't believe that next week summer starts. After all the rain and clouds, I haven't noticed the days being longer. The solstice is coming soon but how can we tell? I don't mind that it's not hot yet, but I would dearly love some sun.

Tuesday, June 9, 2009

In case you've ever wondered how much knitting you can get done if you are ever faced with sitting around for 10 hours in a waiting room, I'll show you. I'm a slow knitter but I managed to finish a sock (that's the Zap sock yarn from Samurai Knitter) ((sorry for the photo. It's very still and dark here. It feels like the heavens are going to open up any minute)) and start a new shawl. It's the Heartland shawl (ravelry link) and I used some merino laceweight I bought on etsy about a year ago. The color is Mahogany or Chestnut, I forget and there was no ball band. I bought about 2400 yds of it. It's a single ply and very thin. I wanted a more substantial feeling shawl so I'm holding it double. The pattern calls for a dk weight so it should work out. I may have to rip it and start over. I chose a smaller needle size because I had laceweight yarn. Then I chose to hold the yarn double but didn't go up a needle size so it's a little dense. I'd hate to waste all that effort but I figure it served its purpose. It kept me entertained for a day when I really needed to be entertained. The pattern is fairly easy to follow so it won't take too long to recoup.



We got to the hospital at 10 yesterday. Em had to be there at 8 and was scheduled for surgery between 10 and 11:30. They sent Jim away at 10 so they could start the prep. We all sat in the waiting room and watched a large screen to see what was happening. Jim and Peter Kevin had laptops and games. We found an outlet and they were set. One of the good things about knitting is that you don't need an outlet. I plopped down in a chair and put on some headphones with a Stephanie Plum novel on my head and I was good to go.



It wasn't until 11:33 that they took Em into the operating room. And we anxiously watched the screen until 12:33 when they started the surgery. About 1:00 a nurse came down with updates and all she had for us was "she went to sleep well". So, we sat and kept ourselves occupied until 3:00 when she came down again and said they had just gotten to the tumor and were starting to remove it. ( We were surprised it took that long but when we looked at the pictures, we could see why. The tumor was buried against Em's spine and was touching her esophagus and lungs and chest wall. It's about 10 cm across and looks dense and heavy. ) About 5:00 or so, she came down and said they were closing. It went quicker than they thought. The tumor came out pretty much in one piece and they got it all. Em's lungs were reinflated and they had to remove only a small piece of lung to get the tumor off. The surgeon told us he was surprised at the size of the thing. If you can picture a softball, it's a little bigger than that. He was thrilled with the outcome. There were no repairs needed (thus the shortened time). Em's insides are back to normal and she only needs to heal from the violence of the surgery.



We got to see our brave girl at 8:00. She was surprisingly alert and fiesty. And she looked good. Better and less fragile than last time. The surgeon told us it's unlikely this kind of thing will grow back so this should be the last time.



Pk and I left around 8:30 and headed for our favorite diner where we had comfort food. A grilled cheese sandwich with tomato and onion for me (it was perfectly made) and soup and chicken fingers for him. We got home at 10:00 and there was a package from Jejune. She sent me a Violet Crumble and some silky merino roving. It was a lovely surprise. And the chocolate (which was delicious!) made for some satisfying desert.

So, the saga of Laslow-Mitford is coming to an end (good riddance). It's made us aware of our fragility and our strength. It's also been made easier by the love and good wishes surrounding our family. For that, we thank you all.





Here's my favorite photo from Sunday. Em and Kate petting an alpaca. You can just see El in there,too. It was a nice day. The owner of one of the farms was friendly and willing to answer Pk's questions. Now, he and Kate are planning how we can raise some alpacas. I bought some bags of fiber in beige and carmel colored brown. I gave the brown to Kate who just bought her own spinning wheel. A stash has to start with something.

The thunder in the distance tells me the storm is coming (I am so perceptive that way). We're going over to the hospital to spend the day with Em until Jim gets off from work. We know she won't be up for much but we just need to be there. I'll find the larger needle and re-start the shawl. And I downloaded another book to the mp3 player so I'm ready.

Have a good day.

Monday, June 8, 2009

It's over!

And everything is fine. The surgeon just left ( the hospital has wifi) and said that it was huge but they got all of it and Em will have no residual effects. She'll be sore from the surgery but Laslow-Mitford's new home will be in a petrie dish in a laboratory.

They took photos and I can't wait to see but for now, I can breathe.

Whoo hoo!!!

Sunday, June 7, 2009

Today was a good day. The alpaca fiesta was small, only a few breeders but the animals were cute and soft. The suri alpaca fiber felt like silk. Too bad they didn't have any for sale.

I bought some alpaca and took lots of photos but I'm tired and I just wanted to let you all know that Em's surgery is scheduled for sometime between 10 and 11:30 tomorrow morning. As soon as it's over and we get home, I'll let you know how it went. We expect everything to go well. It's a long surgery- over 6 hours. I have a new lace project that will require concentration. My blue lace is at the stage when there isn't much thought involved so I'll take that too. And of course a pair of socks. I'll be prepared for whatever I need at the time.

And I'll take a new book I bought today. Pride and Prejudice and Zombies by Jane Austen and Seth Grahame-Smith. I've only read a little but it's entertaining. I am an Austen fan and P&P is my favorite, with Sense and Sensibility a close second and this is hilarious. Elizabeth Bennet is a helluva zombie killer!

Anyway, that's the game plan for tomorrow. I'll check in when it's over. Thanks for all the good wishes and prayers. I'm taking them with me and they'll keep me warm. And I'll have all of you there to keep me company.

See you tomorrow.

Wednesday, June 3, 2009

Do you believe that things happen for a reason? I do. I don't believe in a Master Plan or Predestination or anything like that. But I comfort myself when things happen that it all happens for a reason. Sometimes I get to know the reason but often not.

Like, I have no idea of the reason for Em's alien spine baby but maybe it will be revealed in the fullness of time. Maybe not. Maybe life is really a series of random incidents and we're all just in it for the popcorn.

Whichever it is, for some reason I just happened to be trying to waste 15 minutes at work so I could go home (we now have to clock in and out so leaving early is no longer an option) and I happened onto the ravelry forums page. There in the South Jersey Knitters section was a headline that read "alpaca fest". Whoot! I have been trying to think of something to do on Sunday so we could all have a peaceful, restful day before the long surgery day. I originally wanted to have a picnic but the weather wasn't looking too promising so I was casting about for something else and Voila! There it was. I texted Em and she was interested so she and I and Pk and possibly Jim are going to try to make it to the alpaca fiesta sponsored by alpacanation. It's at a local farm and there will be fiber and animals and fiber and spinning and did I mention the fiber? Em loves alpacas so it will be a nice way to spend some time. Then we can maybe have a meal and she can go home early and rest up and Pk and I can spend the evening trying not to be nervous.

I've been working on the lace and it's growing nicely but it looks the same. Just bigger. I have 7 more repeats to go and then some grafting and blocking. I'm not used to having three pairs of socks on the needles and am having some trouble giving each pair equal time. I think I'm just going to have to finish them one at a time. I actually got in some knitting on the train on the way home today. It's been too crowded lately. I felt myself concentrate and that sense of peace that comes with concentration settled on me and I realized how much I missed the train knitting. It helped me relax and I was in a better mood when I got off the train. Work has been busy, not terrible, just busy and sometimes it's hard to let it go. The train knitting really helps with that and I had forgotten. I will fight harder for my share of the space to get in the knitting that brings the relaxation.

Because I'm a nicer person when I am relaxed.

Happy Sunday!  I am sitting here working on my sweater made with the cashmere yarn my husband gave me for my birthday last year. I’m further...