I wonder why it is that some weeks I notice lots of interesting things to blog about and can't wait to share them and others I am mute. This was a mute week. Since we last spoke on Tuesday, life has been quiet. It's been a round of work and home and playing Tetris. I have knit very little. I spun some.
I finished plying the silky merino that Jejune sent me. I plied it with some sparkly thread and its beautiful. There isn't much of it, almost 2 ounces of fingering/lace weight yarn but it's so pretty. I started to play with some of the alpaca we got a few weeks ago. It's got quite a halo about it and is a pretty oatmeal color. And I've been working on some plain socks. Just quiet stuff, nothing flashy or challenging.
Today we awoke to blue skies with puffy white clouds. It was lovely. Pk and I decided to go the Columbus flea market since we didn't go last week (rain) for Father's Day.
We got there around 9:30 and the parking lot was full and look at the crowd. The sun was hot but there was a breeze that seemed perfectly timed to cool us off. I found a good deal on a brand new (still shrink wrapped) set of expensive colored pencils for Elanor and a hat for Pk and a Navy patch of the USS Eisenhower, (the ship Pk and my ex-brother in law, Smoke served on in the late 70's). I bought two patches, one for Pk and one to send to Smoke. Pk and Smoke became good friends while in the Navy and shared adventures as they sailed the Mediterranean. He lives in Seattle and someday we'll get out there to visit. For now, I'll send him the patch and let him know we're thinking about him.
Pk came home happy because he found an old tool. He belongs to the old tool network and these guys spend their time talking about old tools. This is a saw vise and you use it to hold saws while you sharpen them. (Who says I can't have an educational blog? You just learned something!) It is cast iron and weighs a lot. He also bought some little rusty bits for sharpening something. He knows way more about my hobby than I know of his. Speaking of my hobby, there wasn't a skein of yarn or a needle to be found anywhere today. All these tables of stuff and not one knitting related thing. Pk offered to stop at my favorite lys on the way home but I declined. (ok, get up off the floor, I know it sounds crazy). I really don't need any yarn or roving right now and knew if I went in there, I'd spend money. I'll make up for it at the Garden State Sheep Show in September.
We brought home some fresh bread that is so good we had to tie up the bag and walk away or there would be none left to have with the spare ribs I'm cooking for dinner.
The home page on my computer is set for msn.com. It's a way to keep up with odd things happening in the entertainment world and often bits of cultural weirdness that you can't help but find fascinating. Today, there is an article on marriage and why it isn't culturally relevant anymore. It's here, if you're interested. It's kind of funny because Pk and I have been talking about marriage and how some people have a hard time with it and others don't. He was getting a hair cut and the men around him were not cut out for being husbands. They were talking about their wives and ex/wives (one guy had 3) and the problems they caused( because it's the women's fault). It made Pk smile and he said how glad he is that he gets to come home to me. I'm glad I have him to come home to. We will celebrate our 28th anniversary this October and when people ask "how?", I have no real answer. I could take the easy (and true) way and say "I married my best friend" but that's not all there is either.
So, what do you think? Is marriage still relevant in today's society? And if not, what, if anything, do we replace it with? I don't know what I think, yet. I read the article and found it interesting but I don't think I agree with her. What do you think?
13 comments:
I couldn't read it all. I got bored. I've read her articles before, and she often rubs me the wrong way. What this strikes me as, more than anything, is an article justifying her own decision to get divorced.
I think I don't care much what other people do, but I am happy I'm married. I find it much better to go through life with a good friend who also happens to be kind and sexy.
I haven't read the article (in a bit of a rush this morning) but I do think marriage is still relevant, I just think that some people have an unrealistic view of what a marriage is and how it works, and aren't prepared to do what they need to do to make it work (for some, it is easier than others). I also think that marriage should be available to all, but that's probably getting into politics a bit too much for a comment on a (predominantly) knitting blog!!
I'm not married, but I know lots of people who are quite happily settled and married with people they love. A friend of mine married his wife when they were 20. They'd been dating for five years, and are a very happy couple.
I think the problem is that people aren't being realistic about marriages, and are perhaps marrying more out of convenience and instant payback than they are out of a genuine love for someone.
Deep question for Monday morning! My opinion is that it depends on the purpose, so I suppose it does still have relevance - but I work in a solicitors office and my colleague is the matrimonial secretary. That is divorce. Sadly, it's the only part of our company that is doing as well as it was before the credit crunch started.
Well there's going to have to be a lot of law changing if marriage is on its way out. Kate had some good points.
I figure Pk knows more about your hobby b/c he can make things with those tools of his for yours. I suppose you could always knit him a hammer cozy. But it's not the same as a handmade kniddy knoddy you know?
Sounds like a fun fleamarket even if it didn't have yarns. And if your beloved found something to make him happy, then it was a good time for both of you.
I agree with everyone else. Marriage IS relevant but some folks expect too much of it. It is not the job of your spouse to make you happy. Beyond that, each of the parteners needs to be honest about expectations and abilities. Different people have different needs and strengths. And it sure helps to marry your best friend.
I agree, too, that marriage should be available to everyone.
And I wish we could make it harder to have babies. If, for example, both people had to pass a test to get a license to procreate before they got the antidote to the contraceptive that the enlightened aliens put in our air . . . Hmm . . . there's a story there.
That's the draw of flea markets & so on for me - sometimes you get skunked, but you find good stuff often enough that you still want to go looking.
I'm suspicious of that word, "relevant". It's one of those words like "complicated" that people use to mean whatever they want it to mean.
In the case of marriage, "relevant" gets used to try and simplify the complicated. Relationships are all different. I'm happily married for over 21 years, and yeah, there are still times when my husband drives me completely raving nuts. But on balance, I'd still pick him over anybody else.
That's the draw of flea markets & so on for me - sometimes you get skunked, but you find good stuff often enough that you still want to go looking.
I'm suspicious of that word, "relevant". It's one of those words like "complicated" that people use to mean whatever they want it to mean.
In the case of marriage, "relevant" gets used to try and simplify the complicated. Relationships are all different. I'm happily married for over 21 years, and yeah, there are still times when my husband drives me completely raving nuts. But on balance, I'd still pick him over anybody else.
Marriage is relevent as long as people want it or need it to be. Sure, it used to be about finances, status or convention...but now it's about two people and how they feel about one another. I think that's nice. Plus you get cake...
Now tell me again about being outside in the sunshine. I miss the sun so very much!
I think that marriage is relevant if you want it to be - sounds like the author didn't want it to be. I've been married for just almost 14 years - he's my best friend, and I can't imagine not being married to him.
Gorgeous yarn!
Oh the yarn spun up so beautifully! The shiny sparkly thread you added is just perfect!
As for marriage ... tough question. I think it's still relevant. We're coming up for our 25th anniversary next year. It's not been easy, but it's worthwhile.
I do quite like the idea of contracts, that I think I read in a science fiction book ages ago - possibly Anne McCaffrey - so you might have a 5 year contract, after which time you can move on, or renew it for 10 years, or whatever.
i really love reading about PK's tool hobby. It's just a look into a world that is so far from anything I know of as a hobby, but in a way it's the same as our passion, isnt it?
I got divorced at 25 and people asked me often if I was turned off marriage. No, just marriage to the wrong person. I wanted to get it right next time, and I have.
I think there needed to be a swing away from marriage so that maybe it could be reviewed, recreated. The old notions of marriage, or many of them, were not helpful. But marriage as a partnership, as a journey, that's important and I think people are starting to see that it can change and should change for very good reasons.
I think the 'social definition' of marriage--big wedding, pre-defined roles, financially dependent spouses from A-Z often leads to sort of cold, antiseptic relationships--I've seen it happen.
But I also truly believe in a happy family unit, whether it's two, six, or twenty--and I believe that these happy groups of people who need each other really are the rock of our world.
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