April is the month I started this blog.  According to the blogger stats, I've written 569 posts and 9739 people have visited this site since April of 2007.

Three years since I sent those first posts flying out into internet space.  I've met some really great people and learned some new craft techniques with the help and encouragement of those people.  I have shared the triumphant and not-so-triumphant moments of my life and have leaned on the words and support which were offered.  I've shared your good and bad moments and hopefully been of some support with a word where it was needed.

One of the women at knit night said she never posted.  She is on ravelry but has never posted anything because she doesn't like the idea of her words going out into the world.  I get this.  One of the things I learned as a young person is that while you can take words back and people may forgive you, you can't unsay them and people often don't forget.

Short story.  When I was young, my sister and I attended a church fairly close to our house.  My dad dropped us off and picked us up.  He told us NEVER to walk along Atlantic Avenue (which ironically is now the street behind my house, the one with the railroad tracks) because there are no sidewalks and cars zoom down that street.  Well, this particular Sunday, he was running late or we were early and we decided to walk to my grandparents' house (which was between the church and our house) to surprise them.  You can probably guess what happened.  My dad got to the church and we weren't there and he panicked.  He drove to his parents' house to use the phone and there we were.  Instead of being glad (well, I'm sure he was glad but at that moment, glad was not what we saw) he yelled.  He was a good yeller and this was a doozy.  He yelled about us not walking along Atlantic Ave and not being there.  We hadn't walked along Atlantic Ave but he didn't ask us or let us say anything.  He assumed and just yelled.  It wasn't until much later in the day that my mother asked what had happened and he apologized and told us never to leave the church without him again.  I still have not forgotten the feeling of being yelled at. 

So, I learned to think carefully before I say something that could possibly cause harm.  I pause first and try the words out and then if I don't see any hurtful consequences, it's ok.  I developed a rather thick filter between my brain and my mouth (or fingers).  I didn't yell at my kids (I think yelling demeans everyone involved) that I can remember.  If I raised my voice, they knew it was BAD.  As a result, they (I think) felt comfortable talking to me about what was going on in a way I never felt with my parents.

As far as posting goes, I am aware that even if you delete something, as long as one person has read it, it's never truly gone.  So, I pay attention to what I say.  I don't see the point in writing things that are hurtful or angry-making.  It might make me feel better for just a few seconds but then what? 

I am not a polyanna.  I don't think the world is a place of only unicorns and rainbows.  I know there is ugliness and nastiness and just plain meanness, too.  I choose to dwell on the positive and I choose to notice the good and to deal with the ugly but not glorify it.  And I think I have been fairly successful.  When my children tease me about there being "a miracle in every square inch" I know I've made a point. 

So, I guess I'll continue to put my words out there and continue to share in the lives of the people I've met and to share mine.  What a great community.

Today I have some cooking for dinner tomorrow and I have to make the fixins for tacos for Em's birthday.  I put the baked beans in the crock pot last night and I woke up several times to the smell of molasses and onions and bacon.  MMMMMMM.  I cooked the potatos and eggs for the potato salad and have to assemble it and then I have to bake a babka.  The tacos are easy and so is the pan of red beans and rice.  If I make everything ahead and put it into baking dishes, all we'll have to do is put it in the oven and reheat it and there will be no work for anyone.  My kinda meal.

If you celebrate Easter, I hope your day tomorrow is a happy one filled with quiet pleasures and joy.