Friday, April 30, 2010

Be kind whenever possible.  It is always possible.
~Dalai Lama

I wish I could live by the rules that the Dalai Lama lives by.  I'm not that good.  I am not always kind.  I try.  I think I do a fair job most of the time. 

But what does it mean to be kind? 

Dictionary.com give this:

kind
adjective,-er, -est.


1.of a good or benevolent nature or disposition, as a person: a kind and loving person.

2.having, showing, or proceeding from benevolence: kind words.

3.indulgent, considerate, or helpful; humane (often fol. by to): to be kind to animals.

4.mild; gentle; clement: kind weather.

5.British Dialect. loving; affectionate.
 
 
In my mind, I define "kind" as being nice, considerate, helpful.  All the things I was taught to be as a small girl.  I can't count the number of times I heard "Be nice" when I was growing up.  It usually involved letting someone else have their way and giving up wanting my own.  As a result, I don't often insist on my own way and often let others have theirs.  It feels bold to insist on doing MY thing MY way.  And slightly bad.  I do it more now as an adult than I did as a child (well, I get away with it more now). 
 
I am in a job where being kind to people is almost a prerequisite.  I work with people who are (in some cases) so damaged by their illness that it has changed their lives.  They're just looking for someone to help them feel stable.  So often, it only takes a kind word, a smile and an acknowledgement that you have "seen" them.  Fortunately, my coworkers are wonderful.   I have seen them all give the gift of kindness to people who see precious little of it in their lives.  One of my clients once said to me, "I love coming here.  I know when I walk in the doors, people will treat me with respect and I can relax.  I actually go ahhhh when I come in". That made me feel really good because that's what we strive for.  (I go aaahhhhh when I walk OUT of the building but that's a different story.)
 
I'm finishing up the week's work and getting ready for the weekend.  No big plans or anything even remotely exciting.  We're heading for the gym and then home for dinner and a movie.  Zombie Strippers.  Jealous?  You should be.  Who wouldn't want to watch a movie about a stripper who becomes a zombie and is so popular that all the other strippers want to be zombies, too?  Tomorrow and Sunday will be chores around the house and the yard, some knitting.  You know, life. 
 
And it's great.

9 comments:

Anonymous said...

the Big D has it all figured out doesn he? i wish i could be as kind, calm and serene as he is, but other people just annoy me too much! heres to a calm and serene weekend at home.

amy said...

I think it actually takes less energy to simply be kind than to get all worked up. In the Simplicity Parenting book, the author recommends, before speaking, to ask yourself: Is it true? Is it kind? Is it necessary? If it's none of those things, it's probably not worth saying.

I hope you enjoy your weekend! I am happy that it's going to be warm & sunny. It'll make all the back & forth more enjoyable, at least.

roxie said...

Kid, I am right there with you. I'm not nearly as good as I could be. I'm so afraid I won't get my needs met unless I have it MY way.

Jeanne said...

I think its hard to be kind sometime but its important to try!

How was the movie? HOpe you are having a wonderful weekend!

Alwen said...

I think of "share" in a similar way - yes, it's nice to share, but when I was a little girl, it usually meant "Hand over whatever you're enjoying to someone else."

So it's nice (ha) to see our son sharing out of a sense of generosity rather than coercion!

Anonymous said...

i love this post. You started with kindness and ended with zombie strippers! Only you can do that!

Saren Johnson said...

How was the movie?

Sheepish Annie said...

Kindness is one thing. I support it. However, do not start thinking you should be kind to the zombie strippers. I know you want to...but it won't work out. Trust me on this. This is my area of expertise.

Amy Lane said...

And you, my darling, are exceedingly kind! (And I hope you enjoyed 'Zombie STrippers' -- sounds like an excellent flick!

Happy Sunday!  I am sitting here working on my sweater made with the cashmere yarn my husband gave me for my birthday last year. I’m further...