Thank you for the good wishes.  Believe it or not, it helps to know you're thought of.  Grief is such an odd thing.  At times it's like a stone that whaps you upside your head and others it's as ephemeral as a sunbeam.  Today has been an ephemeral day.  Small snatches of memories keep intruding into my day.  It's ok.  They bring smiles and gentle tears. 

We had dinner with my brother and his family yesterday.  He has two children whom I adore.  They are smart and funny and so like their father when he was a child.  He's 10 years younger and I often feel like I helped raise him.  My parents were kind of "hands off" and not always in a good way.  One of my fondest memories (and this is weird but so illustrative of our family as I was growing up), was once when Rick (brother) and I were watching television.  I was all of 19 so he was 9.  A tampon commercial came on and he asked what it was.  I was home from college and had textbooks on public health and sexuality so I pulled one out for him and showed him what tampons were for and how they were used.  I only gave him as much information as he wanted and he was satisfied.  When I finished, he said, "oh.  Mom wouldn't tell me.  She said I didn't need to know".   Then and there I resolved that if I had kids, nothing would be answered with "you don't need to know".  How insulting to be told that your curiosity is unimportant. 

So, my kids asked everything and if we didn't know the answer, we looked it up.  They still do.  They're some of the most inquisitive (nosy) people I know and to me, that's a good thing.

We had burgers and dogs and sat around and talked.  Kate and Patrick brought Kobold over and he ran around like a mad dog chasing the kids.  It was a lovely evening.

We got home and I pulled out the evenstar and prepared to put in the finishing stitches.  Yes, you read it right, the FINISHING STITCHES!  I did the last repeat and grafted it together and did a terrible job.  I was so unhappy with it that I started to pick it out and made a mess.  I lost stitches and because the thread is so darn thin, it broke.  I was so upset last night that I put it away and went to bed.  As often happens, the solution came to me in that half asleep state where your brain seems to work independently.  I got up this morning and before I showered or ate, I tackled it again and voila.  Here she is in all her blocking glory. 

It's so warm here today that she'll be dry in time to take her to Emily's house and I can get a modeled shot.  Pk called this my "nemesis" and in many ways he was right.  I have been working with this piece since January.  Although the first clue was released in Feb, the swatch was released early and I had such a hard time with it.  I'm so glad I didn't give up then or when the circular cast on was kicking my butt.  I'm not sure where I will wear this but I certainly am proud.  The grafted edge is still visible and far from perfect but I can live with it.  It proves that although I am far from perfect, I can still do good work.

I keep hearing sirens out the window and thought there was a fire but then I remembered the Memorial Day parade.  Our town has a small parade and we haven't gone since Em was in the marching band.  I don't usually think of it.  Em and Kate both have friends serving in the military.  It feels like a torch has passed to the next generation.  I hope they do a better job of keeping the peace than we did.

But enough ponderous thoughts.  It's a lovely summer-like day here.  It's on its way to being hot and sunny.  I made Bells' carrot cake and it looks like it will taste yummy.  I think I used a too large pan and it's not as tall as I'd like but I think it'll be pretty rich so it's all good. 

If you're celebrating the day, Happy Memorial Day to you.  If not, and you're at work, I hope your day is a peaceful and prosperous one.

Comments

Roxie said…
Blessings and all good memories to you.

Evenstar totally, totally rocks! And I bet, in two months, you won't be able to FIND that wonky grafted seam, so don't fret. You did a magnificent job and you stuck with it in spite of booboos and slip-ups. Bravo!! You are a plucky darling!
Bells said…
First up - evenstar! OMG! You're there! You're there! I'm so happy you made it!

I love the story of your brother. It's so important to tell the truth. I can think of countless 'you don't need to know' moments in my own childhood and it only created confusion and misunderstanding. That's fabulous story.
Rose Red said…
Oh Donna Lee, your Evenstar looks just fantastic! Go you!

(I often have thse half-asleep 'a-ha' moments too!)
drkknits said…
i am awestruck by the beautiful thing that is evenstar. i hope it brings you some joy along with the tears. thinking of you xx
Olivia said…
Big congratulations on the evenstar! you worked so hard and were willing to take all the time you needed, and it is wonderful! I look forward to the modelled shots.
Olivia said…
Big congratulations on the evenstar! you worked so hard and were willing to take all the time you needed, and it is wonderful! I look forward to the modelled shots.
KnitTech said…
Nice job on Evenstar.
Dianne said…
I'm just getting caught up on blog reading - I'm so sorry about your Aunt Joan. It sounds like she was a wonderful, kind, loving woman.

The Evenstar looks fabulous, by the way!
Alwen said…
Oh, look at your Evenstar, it's beautiful!

I sometimes tell our son that there are hard things that are worth doing - there's the proof!
gay said…
your memorial day sounds wonderful and i am so sorry for your loss. aunt joan sounds like a real gem and real important force in your life. oh and your lace shawl looks fantastic!
Amy Lane said…
Good memories--and good lessons learned, sweetheart. The shawl is... stunning. I love coming here to your place, to your life. You have such a hard earned peace--it's not blind or superficial or mary-frickin'sunshine sort of peace. It's a determined effort to see the world as a place worth making better. You do.

I'm so proud for you with that damned shawl. No words.
DPUTiger said…
I am incredibly far behind on my blog-reading, but your Evenstar is amazing. Can't wait to see modeled shots!

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