I've been feeling kind of under a cloud this week, in a sort of holding pattern.  This is not usual for me.  I am generally a cheerful, optimistic, "look for the good things" kind of person. 

I know where this feeling is coming from and I just have to feel the feelings and wade through the grief.  A long time (17 yrs) client passed away suddenly (but not suprisingly) last week. 

I found out on Monday morning, too late to make arrangements to attend the memorial.  This was a woman I had known and worked with and whose company I enjoyed for a long time.  She was sick on and off for a long time so this was one of those "blessings" people speak about.  But it still hurts.

I was busy busy busy on Monday and most of Tuesday and it wasn't until yesterday that the weight of the loss settled on my shoulders.  Today is a bit better but the heaviness is still there.  In group yesterday we talked about grief and dealing with it and feeling the feelings and I have to follow my own teachings.  I just don't want to.  I want to put it in a box and put the box in a dark corner and forget about it.  I know for a fact that it won't work for long and so I'm dragging through the week.  Work is getting accomplished, albeit a bit slower than normal.  This will pass and the sunshine in my soul will return but for now, I'll hang onto the rain cloud and think of my friend.

I have a new person coming to the knitting group today.  She really wants to learn to crochet figures so she can make a Transformers character.  I suggested that she learn by making something less ambitious and then when she knew some stitches, we'd find a pattern.  She brought in a crochet hook and some bright blue Red Heart yarn. 

I have nothing against Red Heart.  I firmly believe that all yarns have a purpose.  However, she has determined that she wants to make a potholder.  Anyone see the problem with this?  How effective will an acrylic potholder be?

I suggested she go back to Walmart and get some cotton.  We'll start there.  She's going to be a tough customer but I think anyone can learn if they put their heart into it.  And if I can find a pattern for a Transformers figure?  All the better.


KnitTech said…
((hugs)) Sudden loss is the worst.

New people don't understand there are different types of yarn. Come on, yarn is yarn!
amy said…
I'm sorry for your loss, Donna Lee. With grief, you can't go over it, you can't go under it, you can't go around it, you just have to go through it--like the kids' book, We're Going on a Bear Hunt. It's the best analogy I know for grief.

Hmm, my first knit project was a Christmas stocking on DPNs. I taught myself, so there wasn't anybody to say that was too hard of a project to start with, and in the end, I think that was a good thing. Teach her a few stitches and then go for the Transformer, I say!!
Roxie said…
Wish I could come over there, sit with you, and just help you be sad. Remember that you are not alone in this, and thank you for honoring us with your honesty. We love you whether you feel chipper, or feel like you've been put through a chipper! Allowing yourself to be blue gets you through it sooner. Hugs, my dear. Hugs and love.
Kaye said…
Ugh. I'm sorry you didn't get to say a proper goodbye.
Actually--perhaps I have some red heart potholders. You might be surprised. As long as you're not putting hot pots on them, they don't melt.
Rose Red said…
I'm sorry for your loss, and that you weren't able to attend the memorial, because I am convinced that memorials and funerals help people deal with grief and sadness. I hope you are able to get through this tough time.

Good luck with the Transformers lady - I am sure there will be a pattern out there!
Galad said…
Thinking of you and sending hugs.

I like cotton or wool better for potholders because of the potential for melting with acrylic.
Pearl said…
things go easier when you realize, this is because of that. saves, say, shoes being scuffed blamed for being stupid instead.

(I'm at Humanyms, mostly, but apparenly my url type isn't valid for blogger anymore. *sigh*)
Bells said…
You sound so heavy hearted and I'm not surprised. I'm sorry you weren't able to make the memorial.

I think an acrylic potholder won't work. It's essentially a kind of plastic! Better with cotton!

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