Tuesday, January 8, 2013
Do I believe people can help it if they have a mental illness? Of course not. But I do believe they can make choices on how they deal with it. I don't talk about this often but I was abused as a child by an uncle who babysat my sister and I as my mother worked. I figure I have some options in how I deal with this. I can blame all my issues and problems on this (and stay stuck in that place) OR I can choose to deal with said issues and problems and move on (which I did). I don't throw this information into conversations because it is personal and I find it makes people look at you differently. And I am really not a hero, nor am I any different from most people around me. I am just a person trying to get by as best I can and help as many others do the same as I move through life.
I don't believe that all problems are created equally, nor do I believe all people have the same resiliency. I have met people who have suffered unimaginably horrible things and yet are at peace with themselves and their world. And on the other side of the coin, I have met folks who have crumbled when faced with minor setbacks. I have no idea what makes the difference in how people face adversity. I think having to deal with problems as a child makes you more able to deal with them as an adult. When we don't allow our children to deal with their problems, when we fix all the things for them, they never learn how to do it for themselves.
That's not a bad image to keep in my mind. A giant stew pot on the back burner, bubbling away. I can toss in problems that are too complicated or tough at the moment and let them simmer and then lift them out later and see if time has made a difference. Most of the time? The tough issue will have been broken down by my subconscious (which seems to be very good at coming to solutions while I'm not paying attention) and is now in palatable sized bits.
New year, new ways of dealing with things. I am trying to clean out, clear out and get rid off things that I don't need, don't use or things that don't work. This includes strategies for my life. So far I have cleaned out one drawer in one piece of furniture. It felt good. I'll start with drawers and work my way up to closets and then the attic. By the end of the year I hope to be lighter and have less clutter.
Speaking of less clutter, Pk has decided he wants to make another change before he sheetrocks the ceiling. He wants to get rid of the totem pole in the middle of the room and replace the ceiling beam with something called "microlam" which I think is extra strong wood-like material which will not need the support in the middle. I am letting him run with this because it's important to him. The totem pole doesn't bother me but I am not wedded to it anyway (since I can't carve penguins into it).
The Christmas things are put away and we have arranaged the furniture in a comfortable manner. People in the living room can swivel the chairs around to see into the kitchen so I can have company while I cook. This is cool.
I had begun to spin the roving Joan dyed for me but had to put it down in favor of some crocheted Christmas trees that Em wants for her engagement party this weekend. I am up to 8 so far (and oh my god these are boring) and hope to finish at least 12 by the weekend. I can get 2 done in a night IF I work steadily and don't stop. I bought an ergonomic crochet hook so it's not too hard on my hands. I am looking forward to getting back to the spinning.....
I hope things are well where you are and that life is treating you kindly.