Good morning!  This is what a newly turned 58 year old woman looks like.  Yes, today is my birthday and I am 58.

This seems very weird to me because 58 sounds so old and I don't feel old.  

The very odd thing today is that I have been thinking of my mom.  We didn't have much of a relationship when she died (really none at all), mostly because she pushed me away.  But I let her.  I stayed away when maybe I should have pushed back.  She was very ill the last few years of her life and not a very pleasant person but still.  I find myself thinking about her and her life.  58 years ago, she was an unmarried woman having her first child.  I think she wanted to give me up but my grandmother insisted she keep "this child who is part of us".  My grandmother died when I was in college.  I have often wished she had been alive to see my children.  She would have adored them and they her.

I am not usually a menalcholy person and I am sure this wll pass.  I haven't spent time thinking about my mom in years.  I wonder if she was happy in her life.  She seemed to be but things aren't always what they seem.  I thiink she was often discontented.  My sister reminds me of her quite a lot in that way.  She never seems to have "enough" of anything.  It's sad really.

I am very content with my life.  I'd like it if we had more money (who wouldn't?) but I am so lucky.  I have a job that is fulfilling on a personal level and a loving family and a roof over my head and hobbies that are engaging and ceative.

The tree outside our bedoom window is so beautiful.   When the sun hits it, our room glows reddish orange and it's warm and lovely.                      

We haven't had a major storm as of yet so the leaves are still clinging to the trees.  I love this time of year.

I'm at work for half the day and then I'm going to take advantage of the 75 degree sunshine (so unusual for November) and sit outside.  I don't know if I'll spin or knit or just laze about.  

Wherever you are, enjoy your Wednesday.