Friday, November 9, 2007

I'm at work. I'm done for the day. The phone is not ringing. I have nothing to do and 3 hours to do it in. sigh. I would feel guilty leaving this early, it's only 12:30. I think I will wait until 1:00 and then leave (like that 1/2 hour makes any real difference!) I know my supervisor wouldn't mind but she is on vacation and I don't want anyone to think I am skipping out (but I am).

In knitting news and follies, I have ripped out the waving laces sock and started it over on smaller needles. I almost always use 2.75 needles when making socks for myself because I have wide feet and I don't like my socks too tight. As I was knitting the socks I noticed that they looked big and they are a fairly stretchy pattern so I slipped them on and they were too big. I sat there and looked at the 4 inches of beautiful stitches in my hands and just pulled the needles out and wound it back up. Ouch. Now I am working with 2.5's and it seems better. Of course when I try it on it it's too tight then I'll have to rip it and go back to the 2.75's and I will probably cry.
Ok, I couldn't stand it and pulled off my shoe and sock and slipped it over my foot and it fits. phew. And thank goodness my office mate went off to get some charts. I don't need to add to the perception that I am slightly batty.

Know what I noticed about being 50? It doesn't feel any different than 49. Hmm. It does sound different and I have discovered I like telling people how old I am. They are always surprised. Does 50 sound that old, or do I act like a kid? No matter. I think I am happier at this point in my life than I ever have been. No, I haven't won the lottery, in fact, some days I swear I owe just about everyone on the planet. I think happiness comes from contentment with yourself. I can't change a lot of the things in my life but I can change how I choose to deal within them. What you think on grows. Since I have read that statement and have subscribed to the Buddhist quotation of the day, I have become more aware and thoughtful. What you choose to focus on becomes the most important thing around you. I am choosing to focus on positive aspects of my life. Will this make the negative ones go away? No, but maybe it will make them a little less important. I don't believe in heaven or hell. I think we make our own heaven or hell in our own lives with our attitudes. I have known some people who have minor problems who just moan and groan. I also know a woman who has had more "bad" things happen (death of a parent, serious mental illness, serious life threatening condition, breast cancer) in the last 6 months than any one person should ever deal with. And you know what? If you ask her how she is feeling, she smiles a huge smile and says "Wonderful!" Her attitude is that things can always be worse. She is an inspriration to me when I start to feel sorry for myself.

Where did all that come from? I think November is my contemplative month. Maybe because it is my birth month and Thanksgiving is right around the corner.

It's time to go home now. Have a good weekend everyone. Check out the buddha website. They have some great chachkas! I personally like the "enlightenmints".

7 comments:

amy said...

I agree. And I wasn't quite sure as to the meaning of your title phrase--I had thought perhaps it meant, when you put thought in a certain place, it blooms, like in a fertile garden--more a creativity aspect, I guess. But now I understand, and I could just slap my forehead! Of course! What you focus on is all you see.

Thanks for that.

Rose Red said...

Thanks for this post - I think that one of the best things about getting older is that you have so much more perspective on things (not that I'm saying that younger people don't have perspective, but they don't, in the main, have the experience to go with it).

Sheepish Annie said...

Funny...I always seem to get more "thoughtful" around this time of year. Must be the whole Thanksgiving thing kicking in. And it is so nice when that "thoughtful time" rolls around to be comfortable in my own skin. More so than I ever was in my 20's or 30's!

Enjoy the weekend!!!

Em said...

I think people are amazed by your age because you look younger than people think 50 does. Why, I don't know. I think you look beautiful and soft and huggable and feminine, and like, well...you. You're a kid when you're sleepy (and so much fun. poor brother fergus! he always gets mentioned when you're sleepy) and the rest of the time, you're very peaceful. I think I've just botched my description of you completely, but ah, well.

Concentrating on the positive things is a good idea, and it's been known in psychology to make people feel happier and more content (i paid thirty grand to learn something so common sense). Turn out people do tend to naturally dwell on the negative things. Things like, say, having strange toes or having very round feet. Maybe things of that nature.

roxie said...

When I turned fifty, I realized that though I don't have as much ammunition, I'm a much better shot.

What you think on grows. The young native american lad was getting into trouble, so his uncle took him aside and said, "Inside every person is two wolves. One wolf is honorable, generous, kind and proud. One wolf is cowardly, greedy, selfish, frightened all the time. All your life, these two wolves will be fighting inside you."

The boy asked, "So which wolf will win?"

The uncle replied, "The one you feed."

teabird said...

Thank you for the link -I'm going to subscribe, definitely.

I have been afraid of each number since I turned 50, but once the number has changed, it's been ok. I like some things about being older, such as being much less self-conscious in public. (Also known as, being invisible in public...)

I like what Roxie wrote! I'm also a better shot - partly because I take more care in aiming!

Bells said...

I've pondered the title of your blog a few times and figured it was something along those line - nice to know it's a buddhist saying. It's quite a powerful one, I think. so thank you for that!

Happy Sunday!  I am sitting here working on my sweater made with the cashmere yarn my husband gave me for my birthday last year. I’m further...