Today, we have a guest post from Emily.  She can usually be found here.  Today, however, she has taken over. 

Hello, faithful blog readers! Momolla has graciously let me take over her blog for the day, and decided not to give me a topic to write on. Those of you who read my blog know that only good things can come of this. For those of you who aren't familiar with this particular brand of insanity, let me introduce myself. I'm Emily, the middle daughter, she of the alien spine baby.

I'd like to take this opportunity to talk about my family, and our special brand of crazy. Mom tells you about us all, but you get the pared down version sometimes. And well, sometimes it's fun to look behind the scenes. We are a family that does a lot of things well. Those things include being silly, making light of serious life events, mocking each other mercilessly, and making obscure cultural references or inside jokes.

For instance, we were all pondering who we would give kidneys or other vital organs to, if the need ever arose. We agreed that there were a few people who would automatically get a kidney, some we would think about, and a couple that not only would we refuse, we would treat to the Kidney Dance of Death. This dance is highly complicated, and is best performed when one is feeling extremely silly. It consists of bopping around and pointing at the location of your kidneys/organs that the non-recipient needs, and singing 'Can't Touch This!' loudly. The more spite and less coordination, the better.

And, while we're discussing music, let me introduce you to a fictional character called Brother Fergus the Easily Overcome. See, Dadumms likes to listen to Gregorian chants around Christmas. The rest of us, not so much. So we decided late one night (momolla is her very silliest when she's tired) that the chants are all about Brother Fergus and how he is, well, easily overcome. The songs can also be about how lonely it is to be a monk, and how cold and boring. Eventually, though, they all lead back to poor Brother Fergus and his love of showers.

Ours is not a family that is capable of taking serious life issues, well, seriously. Momolla keeps being diagnosed with a variety of strange medical issues, and we joked that one year she managed to spend so much time in the emergency room, there was a bed ready waiting for her. Sure we were worried, but we also capitalized on the moment. After all, how many times does one get a text message reading 'guess where I am? the emergency room!' from one's mother? Of course, as revenge, I sent her a message telling her I was locked in a police station one day. Thankfully, I was just there with my manfriend to resolve an issue with an accident report. But, well, that wasn't information that needed to be shared immediately.

Speaking of text messages, I once made the mistake of texting my mother and telling her I was bored at work. I asked her to tell me a story, and she happily complied. She told me the story of the girl who got fired for texting too much at work. It is a classic, and I was sure to share it with my sisters when they texted me from work.

Ours is a supportive, loving family. However, we are not willing to let any slip of the tongue slide. Ever. Ten years ago, I answered 'insectology' instead of 'entomology' during a trivia challenge for a school event. I still have not lived it down. And when my father mis-pronounced Ethiopia, a magical new land was opened to my family. We intentionally mis-pronounce it whenever possible.

When you get right down to it, I wouldn't trade my family for anyone else's. Like any other family, we have our share of problems and arguments from time to time. But when we need one another, we are always there to support each other and to offer words of wisdom (hey, don't screw it up! being some of the most frequently offered) and support (you're not contagious, are you?) and to show one another the humor in any situation (like, say, by photoshopping eyes and tentacles onto tumors). Besides, I couldn't trade them, even if I wanted to. They're the only ones who get me.


Roxie said…
Well, if you won't trade them away, would you consider adopting me in? I love you guys!
Bells said…
Oh this was so good. I will never now be able to hear Gregorian chants and not think of Fergus! Fabulous.

And what do you called the magical 'not Ethiopia' land? You left that out!
Bezzie said…
Can I say AMEN! What you describe sounds a lot like my family growing up (for xmas a few years ago my sister made a dictionary of "family" words and phrases). Dr. Mad Scientist experienced nothing like this. I was starting to think we were really weird. Maybe it's all those normal people who are weird! Ha ha!
Rose Red said…
I love your family!! So much fun.

Hope Fergus' showers were always cold...
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