"Hope is important because it can make the present moment less difficult to bear. If we believe that tomorrow will be better, we can bear a hardship today."

~Thich Nhat Hanh

Yes, that is today's Buddhist inspirational quote.  I know I depend on them probably way too often to start out a blog post but when I read something that rings true to me, I want to share it.

Emily Dickinson (although for some reason I thought it was Maya Angelou) said "Hope is the thing with feathers that perches in the soul...".  I've always thought this was such a positive thought.  The idea that everyone has a fragile bit of Hope inside and all it needs is some encouragement to come forth.

My job here at the mental health center is varied and changes all the time.  One part of it is to run what we call Social Rehabilitation groups.  I do communication skills, medication management, positive mental attitude and now poetry.  One of the recurring topics (besides talking about how the medications makes us sleepy) is Hope. 

Hope is the thing that keeps us going when it is all going to hell in a handbasket.  I don't know how people get along without it.  I've learned that to instill Hope in someone can be a great gift but it can be one of the most difficult things to do.  But oh boy, when someone starts to find the bit of hope inside them and they see a possible future?  The change in them is amazing. 

And it's free!  And it cost so much sometimes.  Being able to put your hopes out there for the world to crush takes such courage.  And to get back up and keep moving forward after being crushed?  That takes a special kind of courage.  Some of the people I work with every day have that courage and no matter what life throws at them, they keep on getting back up and trying again.  It's amazing and wonderful.

So, today I'm going to focus on Hope.  I'm going to spread as much of it around as I can.  We're heading into the deep of winter here (although once again our temps are heading into the 50-60 degree range) and we can all use a bit of Hope that the warmth is coming back and things will be green again. 


I called Namaste about the broken bag and they responded immediately.  "Send us a photo and we'll send you a new bag".  I emailed them a photo of the torn section and they are mailing me a new bag today.  They apologized for the defective one.  They have earned my loyalty.

Pk had fun taking the magnets out of the flap of the bag.  He loves to take things apart and "see how they work".  I have always known this about him.  He has played with my expired epi pens, taken apart talking holiday cards, and now taken the magnets out of the broken bag.  He discovered to his delight that they use Rare Earth magnets.  I don't know anything about them except 1) they are very strong 2) they are very fragile and 3) you should not swallow them (why you would want to, I have no idea).  He is enjoying playing with them.

At the doctor's last week, they gave me doxicycline to clear up my sinus infection.  I did the bad thing and stopped taking it after 7 days.  It was making me so sick and giving me actual pain.  It's been 2 days and my esophagus/stomach area still hurts when I eat.  I have a dr appointment on the 7th and I'll talk to her about it.  I think it's one more drug I'll cross off my list. 

Other than that?  Everything is good here.  We are enjoying our "space" and coming up with all kinds of ideas on how we can best use it.  One of my favorite parts is that I am not isolated when I'm in the kitchen.  I can take part in the conversations around me. 

I have one skein spun and plied for my sweater and am halfway through another.  That may be enough to finish it.  I have to wash and thwack the finished yarn but I am making progress now that I am over most of the infection and can stay awake! 

How is winter treating you?

Meet Chet 2.0.  It's one of the trees I made for Em's party.  I think I used a Patons acrylic for the green and one of Vanna's metallics for the silvery bits.

(and fyi, I think blogger heard me talking about jumping ship and so they are suddenly playing very nice).

I enjoyed making the trees, they weren't hard-just boring after a while.  I put eyes on mine to give him personality.  Kate decided on the name.



And there is a candid shot of my lovely daughter(s- that's Elanor sitting in the doorway) and Jim standing near Em.  Getting a photo of Emily is never easy but this day she was full of the cooperation. 

We got some snow today, just a couple inches, less than 3 and very fine and powdery.  Pk and I left work early so we could go to the grocery store before all the Snowpocalypse folks could get there and buy up all the milk and bread.  I needed to get milk and eggs so I can make bread pudding this weekend.  I have been jonesing for it for a while and have finally collected enough odd bits of bread to make it worth my while.

We finished the shopping and then it took forever to get home because the roads were snow covered and that made them slippery.  We stopped at a local seafood store/restaurant (we don't go there often for dinner because they use Old Bay seasoning on absolutely everything they cook) and picked up containers of oyster stew and lobster bisque for dinner.

I own two Namaste bags and have bought three.  I own a Hermosa (which serves as the holder for wips and needles or as a wonderfully versatile travelling bag) and a Messenger bag for everyday travel back and forth to work.  We gave Kate a Messenger bag for her birthday in August and she loves it.  I needed a new bag so I bought one for myself in November for my birthday.

Today, I  noticed that my strap is pulling loose and actually tearing off the bag.  I was really surprised since it's only been 2 months and I don't carry much beyond my knitting, umbrella, bottle of water, cup of coffee and ipad and lunch.  Not enough to make the strap holder rip.  I phoned them (they're in California) and left a message.  Their website says they will pay for return postage and will either fix it or send me a new one. 

Thank goodness I still have my old red bag. 

And speaking of my ipad, I didn't know I needed one but evidently I did because I find myself using it every day.  I have a subscription to the NY Times and I read the paper and then I read books.  I use it to look things up and stream videos from Netflix.  I don't turn on the laptop nearly as often as I used to.  It will be very handy in the summer when it's hot and I don't want a hot computer on my lap.

I did a dumb thing today.  I bought a birthday card for a friend and didn't pick up the envelope!  In my defense, it's a really cool card that features a light up tiara for the recipient to wear.  I was so enthralled with the flashing lights that I didn't notice there was no envelope.  I'm going to try to make one tomorrow. 

It's rather late and Pk is sleeping next to me as I type.  I haven't taken my night time medicine yet and so I'm still awake.  I knew the stuff made me sleepy but not how much.  I need to go and take it now so I can go to bed soon.  I have things I want to do tomorrow (and will have time since the shopping is done!).

Happy weekend everyone!

So, Blogger and I have not been getting along well for a while now.  This is part of the reason for the very infrequent postings here lately (the other part is the massive sinus infection I have been harboring since the holidays and all the messy dust we stirred up reroofing the house). 

I start a post and can't get it to Save or Publish.  I can't browse my photos and can't add any photos to the post.  I'm not sure what's going on but started to explore alternative sites.  Anyone have a favorite? 

Here's a roundup of the past few weeks.

-It's cold here for the first time this winter.  REALLY cold (Ok, if you're Canadian, this is positively balmy), it's been below freezing for the past few days.  I hate having cold toes.  This morning the trains were having some issues and I was later than normal getting to work.

-I am very grateful for the small heater that sits under my desk and is pumping very warm air at me as I sit here and write. 

-Pk has decided he might like to change the living room and get rid of the totem pole in the middle of the room.  He is exploring the possiblilty of a "mircolam" board which could possibly span the entire room and not need a brace in the middle.  This could be cool but it would mean not putting up the sheetrock until we order and install the new beam. 

-Pk and I spent the weekend being sick.  He has a cold and I have a sinus infection (I've had it for a while but have been ignoring it, hoping it would go away).  We went to the dr on Monday and procured medications.  I think I slept for 15 hours at a time.  I'm back to work today and could put my head down on the desk and sleep.

-It snowed here on Monday night.  Not enough to really count but enough to lift our spirits a bit.  We love snow but our area is not known for getting great quantities of the stuff.  And now, with a new, strong roof, we wouldn't have to worry about it being too heavy. 

-I have 3 1/2 bobbins of singles ready to ply for my sweater.  I haven't been able to pay much attention to it for the past week (sinus infections make me feel really out of it and I lose focus), you can see the difference in how neatly the bobbins are wound.  I want to ply the yarn this week and then wash it so I can begin to work on my sweater again.  I'd love to have it to wear today since I am freezing here. 

-In other craft news, Kate and I finished enough trees for Em to add to her collection and give out at her party.  She had a lovely engagement party.  I brought home a tree and put eyes on it.  Now it has a personality. 

Peter Kevin has been working hard, despite his cold to put the gutters on the front of the house.  Now I can stick my head out the door and not have cold rain hit the back of my neck.   When we changed the line of the roof, we changed the placement of the gutter.  We still have to put the siding back up and then put gutters on the back and then start tearing the old porch off the back so we can put up a new one.  It's not just for relaxing in the summer but also helps keep the rain out of our rec room.  

-There's not much else going on.  We've been slow and sleepy, just like some animals are all winter.  Maybe we should be hibernating?  

-Pk and El are at a funeral/memorial this morning for his sister's father-in-law.  I didn't know him well but the few times I met him,  he was a lovely gentle man (in the most true sense of the words).  I wanted to go but after having been out sick the past two days I couldn't take the time to go.

-Pk and I are going back to the gym twice a week.  He's doing better than I am.  I have had such headaches with this infection that the idea of aerobic exercise makes me sick.

-We signed up for a subscription to the NY Times epaper.  I missed having a newspaper to read but we actually read it so seldom that it was a real waste of paper.  This way, if I miss a day, I don't feel like I've wasted anything.  So far, I'm enjoying it. 

I suppose I should deal with the phone messages that have been left on my phone.  I dealt with the emails this morning already.  I have group this morning and this afternoon so I have to be awake.  That will be the challenge of the day, keeping my eyes open.      

I'd be interested in any suggestions for alternate blog hosts.  Tell me who you use and if you like them.  I appreciate it.                        

Someone (on ravelry) wrote the other day, "We don't always get to choose the path we have to travel, but we do get to choose how we will travel on it".

This so appeals to me and my sense of people having responsibility for their moods/lives/feelings.  The population of folks I work with so often blames the system, their families or society in general for all of their problems when sometimes the responsibility falls directly on their shoulders.

Do I believe people can help it if they have a mental illness?  Of course not.  But I do believe they can make choices on how they deal with it.  I don't talk about this often but I was abused as a child by an uncle who babysat my sister and I as my mother worked.  I figure I have some options in how I deal with this.  I can blame all my issues and problems on this (and stay stuck in that place)  OR I can choose to deal with said issues and problems and move on (which I did).  I don't throw this information into conversations because it is personal and I find it makes people look at you differently.  And I am really not a hero, nor am I any different from most people around me.  I am just a person trying to get by as best I can and help as many others do the same as I move through life.

I don't believe that all problems are created equally, nor do I believe all people have the same resiliency.  I have met people who have suffered unimaginably horrible things and yet are at peace with themselves and their world.  And on the other side of the coin, I have met folks who have crumbled when faced with minor setbacks.  I have no idea what makes the difference in how people face adversity.  I think having to deal with problems as a child makes you more able to deal with them as an adult.  When we don't allow our children to deal with their problems, when we fix all the things for them, they never learn how to do it for themselves.

I have no earthly idea where this all is coming from this morning.  I am fighting off a head cold/sinus thing and have been living on cold medicine and excedrin for the intense headaches.  Maybe it's working in my brain.....

I do know that I believe firmly that we each make choices every day that determine how our day will go.  There are a lot of things out of my control but I can choose how I will react and therefore how things will ultimately flow.  I have a tendency to hit some things head on and to let some things simmer for a bit.  Just like stew beef, sometimes a bit of a simmer softens things up and makes them easier to chew on. 

That's not a bad image to keep in my mind.  A giant stew pot on the back burner, bubbling away.  I can toss in problems that are too complicated or tough at the moment and let them simmer and then lift them out later and see if time has made a difference.  Most of the time?  The tough issue will have been broken down by my subconscious (which seems to be very good at coming to solutions while I'm not paying attention) and is now in palatable sized bits. 

New year, new ways of dealing with things.  I am trying to clean out, clear out and get rid off things that I don't need, don't use or things that don't work.  This includes strategies for my life.  So far I have cleaned out one drawer in one piece of furniture.  It felt good.  I'll start with drawers and work my way up to closets and then the attic.  By the end of the year I hope to be lighter and have less clutter.

Speaking of less clutter, Pk has decided he wants to make another change before he sheetrocks the ceiling.  He wants to get rid of the totem pole in the middle of the room and replace the ceiling beam with something called "microlam" which I think is extra strong wood-like material which will not need the support in the middle.  I am letting him run with this because it's important to him.  The totem pole doesn't bother me but I am not wedded to it anyway (since I can't carve penguins into it).

The Christmas things are put away and we have arranaged the furniture in a comfortable manner.  People in the living room can swivel the chairs around to see into the kitchen so I can have company while I cook.  This is cool. 

I had begun to spin the roving Joan dyed for me but had to put it down in favor of some crocheted Christmas trees that Em wants for her engagement party this weekend.  I am up to 8 so far (and oh my god these are boring) and hope to finish at least 12 by the weekend.  I can get 2 done in a night IF I work steadily and don't stop.  I bought an ergonomic crochet hook so it's not too hard on my hands.  I am looking forward to getting back to the spinning.....

I hope things are well where you are and that life is treating you kindly.

Happy New Year! 

This post will probably appear odd because I am at work and our browser doesn't support blogger anymore.  I am not an administrator on this machine so I can't download an upgrade.  The controls (like text alignment) are hidden so I am stuck with whatever it feels like allowing me to use at any given time.  Today, we are centering our words. 

Our New Year's celebration doesn't warrant capital letters.  We are not loud, noisy party folks and this year was no different.  In fact, this year was more low key than normal but with all of the stuff going on, it was just fine with me.

I went to work for half the day on Monday.  Pk came over and we had sandwiches at a place called Munchies.  It's nothing fancy but they turn out good sandwiches for a decent price.  Pk had something called The Pub which was full of beef and cheese and seasonings.  I had chicken salad which was tasty but a bit salty for my taste (as I get older, I seem to tolerate salty foods less and less). 

We came home and put on our sweat clothes and spent the rest of the day reading and just sitting next to each other on the couch. 

No one noticed it was midnight until we heard the fireworks from some of our neighbors.  Party animals, I tellya. 

Yesterday, I put some beans in the crockpot, made some potato salad and got a ham ready for the oven.  It's traditional for us to have ham on NY's day.   Kate and Patrick came for dinner and 2013 is off to a good start.

We REALLY enjoyed our holidays.  I think that because we were working so hard right up until the 24th that it made it all that more important for us to just take the time off and relax.  By the time we got up for work this morning, most of the sore muscles had healed and although mentally we were still on vacation, physically, we were ok.

We have a new, empty dumpster sitting in the driveway ready for the rest of our destruction debris.  It was amazing to watch the truck pick up the full one (knowing how much it must have weighed) and carry it off like it was so much fluff.  We have piles of wood and some roofing materials to go into the new one plus the roofing off of the porch in the back.  I don't think we'll have any trouble filling it up and the neighbors will probably be glad to see the stuff off the lawn (although we have tried to be careful and keep things in neat piles, it IS debris after all).  I will be glad to see it all gone.

The Christmas decorations and tree will come down this upcoming weekend.  We've never seen our new room without the tree in the center so I'm curious to see how this will work out.  I have really enjoyed being in the kitchen and having the ability to talk to people sitting in the living room while I cook dinner.  Pk (who has been slightly unsure about this whole one-big-room thing said he was beginning to like it.  The feeling of space is nice.  The sheetrocking of the ceiling will be sometime in January and then we can work on finishing the outside.  We need to replace the siding and cover up the Tyvek wrap and put up some gutters and then work on the back of the house and ...........the list is endless.

I'd also like to have a minimal garden this year.  Elanor started one last year but didn't keep up with it.  I'm not sure where the time for all of this will come from.  I need to have some of that timey wimey magic!

So, I hope the start of 2013 finds you all happy and healthy and living the life you want.  I'm not one for resolutions.  Last year, my goal was to be more tolerant of others and give folks the benefit of the doubt.  I'm going to continue that this year and I also want to make sure I'm really listening to people when they talk to me.  Sometimes I think I tune them out (a hazard of the job, I think) and I want to make sure that I pay attention.

So, what's on your agenda for the upcoming year?  Anything new?