We are all about the Spring here.  I say that even though it was only 32 degrees F (0C) here this morning and I pulled out my woolen mittens so my hands didn't cramp up on my way to work.

But all around the house are dozens of daffodils and tulips and grape hyacinths all hopefully blooming.We had a few days of 70-80 degree sunshine and boy did those bulbs make the best of it.  They are so beautiful but then a frost hit Tuesday night with actual snow in some areas and the fairly fragile spring blooms are not going to last very long.
 I am sitting here trying to psych myself up for the day.  It's Thursday in the real world but for me, this is my Friday.  I took off Friday and Monday to give myself a long weekend.  Although there have not been any immediate ramifications of Peter Kevin getting laid off, I can't seem to stop my mind from going to the "what if" place.  What if he doesn't find a job by September? (when his severance ends).  What if I can't pay the mortgage, what if we can't buy food?

I know this is a useless thing and just makes me grind my teeth but I can't seem to help it.  I am generally a positive person deep inside I believe everything will work out but some days.......Added to this, they are changing our insurance at work and I have lost the plan I've had for the last 20 years.  I understand that we are a health system and they want us to use our own doctors.  I really do.  But I live in NJ and the health system is centered in Philadelphia.  If I have to be hospitalized, it'll have to be in Philadelphia which is a bit of a pita for Pk.  Parking alone could bankrupt a person.

Fortunately, my current pcp accepts the new insurance but my copays will be higher because they are not one of the Penn Health doctors.  But they're MY doctors and we have a relationship that's been built over the last 15 years.

But, enough of that.  Things will work out.  They always do and whatever happens, we'll deal with it.  We always do.

This weekend is Easter and that means cooking.  We are going shopping tomorrow which will include a trip to the Russian market to get some kielbasa and some breads.

Then it's off to the produce place and then Shop Rite and then the liquor store.  Then someone has to come home and put away all those groceries.

Saturday we will make baked beans and potato salad and I will bake babka and maybe some sugar cookies (we'll have Easter mooses and bats and dinosaurs of course.  What else would you have?).  On Sunday, I'll have to just put the ham in the oven and cook up the kielbasa and pierogies.  There will only be the three of us so I'll cut back on the amounts.  When I suggested that maybe we didn't need quite so much food, Pk said "Why don't you just ruin Easter?".  So, I'll humor him and make his traditional favorites but just much less of them.


The garden center folks said the roses bushes will be in at the end of April.  The season is a bit slow this year due to all the cold and snow.  By the time they come in, the bulbs wil be done flowering and will just be photosynthesizing to make more bulbs.  We're going to put 3 or 4 rose bushes right behind the daffodils and tulips.  I am so excited.

Work is busy.  We have an inspection coming up in about 10 days.  It's an important one because it's mostly financial.  They want to see notes for every service we billed for.  Fortunately, I am not much of a billable person so I don't have many notes to worry about.  But everyone is a bit on edge because you know, it's all about the money.

The sun is shining and the tree outside my window is full of ugly smelling flowers (although they are rather pretty) with their bright yellow pollen.  Yes, the pollen is flying and starting to cover most surfaces.  I am ready with antihistamines and extra tissues.

I hope y'all have a joyous Easter (if that's your holiday), a warm and happy Ostara (if that one's yours) or a happy and healthy Passover.  And if I've forgotten one, I'm sorry.  Whatever and however you celebrate, I hope your weekend is happy and healthy and filled with all the good things in your life.

"Rather than letting our negativity get the better of us, we could acknowledge that right now we feel like a piece of shit and not be squeamish about taking a good look."



~Pema Chödrön



Comments

Galad said…
Beautiful spring flowers brightened my morning - so thanks for sharing.

Continuing to keep good thoughts for you and PK.

Easter mooses and bats and dinosaurs, of course :-) I would expect no less from your family!
Saren Johnson said…
(hugs) Those what if's are hard to deal with at times.
Rose Red said…
Your bulbs are fabulous. I so wish it was cold enough to grow bulbs like that here!
I hope you all have a great Easter.
Olivia said…
I feel for you and PK, it's so hard not knowing what's going to happen. You don't need the insurance change on top of that. But hope you've had a very happy Easter and that PK got enough of all his favourites!
DrK said…
such beautiful flowers. there is nothing i can say that will ease those worries, i know what its like to be in that transitory space and you do just have to have faith that it will be ok. maybe not always as you expect, but ok. it is frightening sometimes how far society has moved to being all about the money with no care for actual people. thinking of you xx

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