Do not automatically think that beauty always has to be defined by old-fashioned standards, donna lee. It is time to set your own definition. There is no need to squeeze yourself into some socially constructed mold that doesn't resonate with who you truly are. Your job is not to try and make sure that everyone loves you. There is only one person you need to satisfy, and that is yourself.
I get the horoscope in my email (from msn so you know it's true!) everyday. I read it for fun. Most of the time I'm either going to host a gathering at my house with some lively discussion or my "ship is going to come in" (which I'm still waiting for). Of course I beilieve it's all true. Ok, I don't. But I do find it entertaining.
Today's however was interesting because it's not so much a prediction as a reminder that we are all uniquely beautiful and that trying to be the tall, willowly person I see in my mind is not likely to happen in this lifetime. I have come to peace with my body shape. I am not tall (5'4) and I have short legs. I have an average build and am carrying extra weight that is slowly shifting with the addition of the exercise to my life.
Am I Vogue material? Again, not likely. I see women everyday on the train who are not just pretty but beautiful and I wonder what it's like to be them. What is it like to look in the mirror and see physical beauty staring back? I'll bet they see their own flaws as easily as I see mine and maybe they don't see their own beauty.
I am, however, human material. I have a good heart and I tend to open it to everyone. I am loving and kind and the older I get, the more I am satisfied with myself. I have a long way to go until I get to be the person I envision (and, sigh, she will not be tall or willowy) but isn't that what life is all about? Growing into your best self?
Just for today, I am going to walk around as if I were beautiful. I am going to project beautiful vibes and I am going to smile at people as if they were the most beautiful creatures I have ever seen. Wanna bet it'll be a good day?
9 comments:
The problem with physical beauty is that it fades. If you invest your whole self into your appearance, then life will bring you constant devaluation. No matter how fit you keep yourself, your skin will sag and wrinkle, your breasts will droop, and shadows will settle around your eyes. But if you invest in your character, becoming beautiful on the inside, then your character will begin to shine through your flesh. Think of the beautiful old women you have seen. They are not looking for approval - they are looking to approve. They are happy with who they are and they scarcely think of themselves.
Think of the pretty girls you have known. Do they make you wait while they change clothes one more time? Do they spend more on beauty products than they invest in their retirement? Are they happy with who they are?
You, my dear, are a rare and precious beauty, and your husband is a lucky, lucky man!
When I was in high school a friend of mine and I got so sick and tired of hearing our friends (and every single other girl) constantly complain about their thighs or their face or their hair or everything! So we started telling each other how beautiful we were. We complimented each other lavishly. Other girls thought we were anything from nuts to stuck up, but we didn't care. If you hear it, and you tell it to yourself, and you live like it, it's true. We WERE beautiful. (Oh, 17 has no idea how beautiful she is!!)
beauty is so subjective, and so culturally relative. the older i get the more self acceptance i get, and it is a wonderful feeling. but even so, i would be happy to just a bit tall and willowy too!
Donna Lee, I think you shouldn't walk around "as if" you were beautiful. You should walk around knowing you are beautiful. Because you are.
i have that same thought too, looking at girls around me who definitely fit the mould of what society calls beautiful - I often wonder what it would be like. Do they know it when they see themselves? Do they appreciate it?
We all have days when we have a sense we look good that day - but to be amazingly beautiful? That must be a strange place to be.
i have that same thought too, looking at girls around me who definitely fit the mould of what society calls beautiful - I often wonder what it would be like. Do they know it when they see themselves? Do they appreciate it?
We all have days when we have a sense we look good that day - but to be amazingly beautiful? That must be a strange place to be.
Was it a good day?
I'll bet it was! What we feel we project and people can't help but respond to it.
I had a discussion with a student the other day. She said, "Mz Lane, you should straighten your hair!" I laughed. "That would mean I'd have to spend more than two minutes on personal grooming."
"Yeah-- you're just lazy."
"I get four hours less sleep a day than you do--you want to restate that?"
She couldn't. But that's okay. She's sixteen. When she's forty-two, she'll get it.
And MSN IS true. It MUST be, because I get it too!
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