The thunder is still there, off in the distance, threatening but the rain is steady and fairly gentle. The good thing is, we needed this. Everything will be green for a bit now. The bad part is we had planned to go to the art museum today. We are not usually people who are put off by the weather but the parking for the museum involves a walk of some distance and we'd be soaked.
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| Quaker Bridge from the top |
It's hard to complain (well, not really. It's easy to complain, just no one wants to hear it) when we've just had some of the loveliest summer days imaginable. Pk and I went for a drive through the woods on Friday. This is Quaker Bridge (built by the Quakers in 1722) across the Batsto river. It's a little disconcerting to stand on since you can look down and see the river. It's probably less than 3 feet deep but still.....
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| and the bottom |
The water is brown (from the iron in the soil. Batsto was known for it's iron ore) but clear. We drove through the forest just breathing in the clean, pine scented air. Not PineSol scented. Just fresh and green. We saw less than 10 other people the whole trip through. When we stopped the car to walk on the bridge, the silence was all encompassing.
We stopped at the Visitor's Center intending to find a spot to have a picnic near the lake but discovered that the lower half of Batsto Village was closed. This was disappointing but we're flexible so we headed home to pick up Elanor and head for the other river to have dinner.
We stopped at the farm stand (with the honor box) and happened to see the woman who runs it. She was filling a bag with vegetables and wanted me to know that she wasn't stealing. I told her we stopped here frequently and always wondered if most people payed. She said "about 90%. We figure most people pay. You know who the worst offenders are? Middle aged women". I was surprised but being a middle aged woman myself, didn't say anything. I had my cash in my hand. We bought some long thing white eggplant, some tomatoes and some tomatillos.
We had a nice dinner while watching ships coming and going on the river and then headed home. An altogether satisfying summer day.
Yesterday was shopping, cleaning and laundry and humidity. You could feel it creeping up anytime you moved. And then the rains started last night. It's supposed to rain today through Tuesday on and off so our beach plans for tomorrow are kind of shot. Peter Kevin said something about going to work tomorrow if we couldn't go to the beach but I'm thinking I'd take the day anyway. Mondays are my longest days. I'd like to have it off.
Emily pointed me to a website Microaggressions and I'm not sure how I feel about it. It's a place for people to post/comment on things that have happened to them that made them feel uncomfortable on some level. Some are women who were put down by men for being female, some are trans/bi gendered individual who were treated unfairly. Em said it made her think about the way she treats others. I guess if that's the purpose it serves, then maybe it's a good thing.
But, I also wonder about some of these people who took the time to write (I figure they must have felt strongly enough to write about the incident). I believe they felt belittled, ignored, outraged, insulted and many other emotions. I keep thinking about my father telling me to "grow a thicker skin". I know this is going to sound calloused, but I kept thinking that as I read some of the bits. It IS NOT nice to have someone discredit you for something you are but I wonder why it gives some folks such angst. I also am aware that I am writing this as a white heterosexual woman in America and that may make a huge difference in my life experiences.
I'm finding it diffucult to express what I want to say without sounding intolerant myself. I know I have my prejudices but I work hard to see them and to overcome them. I see too many folks disregarded every day because of conditions they can't help. I don't want to be part of the problem but I don't know that I see complaining about it as helpful. Or maybe it's just cathartic?
What do you think?
8 comments:
Raining here today too, which means we finally got some basic cleaning done. It's so hard to justify staying inside to clean when it's so nice outside. So yesterday we spent the day at the beach. I'm so sorry you'll end up missing your planned beach trip.
I didn't click over to that site. In general, I don't see how it's helpful to complain and vent. It's so much negative energy. I might do that in an email to someone I know and try to make it funny, but rant away in a public way, no. I try not to. And I don't like reading other people's rants and complaints, either. In my opinion, it's not productive. And when I have ended up accidentally reading such rants (like on someone's blog), I wonder what the other side of the story is, anyway. Most rants I've read just end up making the ranter come off badly.
I wish it would rain here, but I figure we another month - month and a half - before the rains come.
I know what you mean about that website and that attitude, I feel a similar way. I guess if having a little rant makes you feel better, and you no longer think about it or let it worry you, then that's a good thing. I suppose the way I look at things is that I can't control what people around me say or do, but I can control my response to them and the way I feel about it.
Sometimes, people are just looking for a reason to be offended. Sometimes, people simply don't have the perspective to realize that they are being offensive.I think there's a lot to be said for giving people the benefit of the doubt and assuming that they don't mean to offend, they just don't know any better. If you know the persone well enough, a little gentle education ie. "Gee, when you say that, it sounds as if you think that being a man means that a person is rude and violent. Surely you don't really believe that, do you?"
I actually don't see the posts on that site as ranting. I think it's intended a space for people to report those often tiny events that those around them consider unimportant, 'just a joke', no big deal, but which cause the person that feeling of powerlessness when your point of view seems to be miles from the people around you. It's to do with the concept of privilege (which I don't know enough about yet to explain well). You touch on it when you refer to being a white heterosexual woman in America - you are acknowledging your privilege on certain dimensions. The other night my Dad was throwing a ball with my nephew and he referred to "a girly throw" (just jokey, not in a mean tone). I reacted instantly along the lines of 'you can't say that' and I think Dad just thought my reaction was funny. I mean, he gets that it wasn't politically correct, but he probably just thought I was offended. To me it's not about offense or the thickness of my skin. I don't want my 3 year old niece growing up internalising that "girly" means weaker, softer and lesser than the alternative. That if she wants respect (other than for cuteness, which she already does well!) she has to aspire to be more like the boys. Actually, I know of course she'll hear this sort of thing but I'd rather it wasn't coming from her beloved 'Papaci'. (At least she'll also get an earful from her feminist auntie!) I think people are using that site either because they are sick of hitting their heads against brick walls trying to explain what's wrong, or they don't yet have the confidence to do so, in possibly hostile environments. And yeah, perhaps a few are having a rant ;)
I know exactly what you mean about the venting. I think we have gotten so comfortable with it that we sometimes lose sight of the real issues some people have. It kind of takes away from someone who is genuinely suffering when all slights carry the same weight.
And I say that as a first class complainer, I'm sad to say...
i've just gotta say I support everything Olivia said above!
I love road side farm sales. I always think, when I slip coins into the box, are there people who don't pay. If there are, I hope they go to bed at night feeling REALLY bad. Or that they were very needy.
ps i thought people just used twitter for ranting. It seems that way some days.
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