There is not a yellow tree in sight, yet. But it's coming. It's only the middle of August but already the weather feels like it's changing. Every day, ever so slightly, you can feel the difference. Usually by this time of year, we are all ready for the fall. This summer has been unusually wet and the temperatures have not been excessive. There were a few days when we needed the air conditioners in the bedrooms but those were very few. Most nights we get by with window fans which bring in the cool night air (last night the temp gauge on the fan said 54 (12 C)degrees. (Thank goodness for the online converter for temps! I can't do it in my head). I have enjoyed this summer. I like the unscheduledness of it. We are lazier and spend more time outside and just having fun. (Though, as I wrote that, I realized that I don't have kids in school anymore and so the schedule that ruled out lives for so long is no longer. ) I also like wearing shorts and having bare legs and feet and not having to put shoes on to go outside to get the newspaper in the morning. Once summer is over it seems the "holiday season" is upon us and it's nonstop for months.
I am working away on my Wildflower shawl and am loving the pattern. It's easy enough to be 'comfort knitting' but has a little challenge in there. The fabric is soft and drapey. It will be beautiful when it's finished.
I made a supreme effort to get myself into work this morning. It's predicted to be 80 (26 C)degrees and sunny. Just about as perfect a day as you could ask for. A nice day to drive through the woods and take a picnic. But I came to work. I had a conversation with a supervisor yesterday that made me depressed and not want to be here. He said that even though the head honchos know that I do my work and volunteer for everything that needs doing and all in a timely fashion, if I'm reading a book at 8:00 in the morning, why aren't I doing another social rehab group? In other words, because I manage my time efficiently and get my work done so that I am not frazzled and flustered, I should do extra work to keep myself busy. I should be punished because I am good at time management. I already do as much or more work than most members of my department. And if I'm reading a book at 8 in the morning, it's for a group I have to run later in the day.
This really demoralized me. I know that I am not the only one who feels this way and I'm not sure what to do about it. It doesn't seem to matter what I do or how much I do, it's not enough. I have toyed with the idea of changing jobs over the years but never seriously. I like the people I work with, I like my job (mostly) and I have great benefits which include 5 weeks of time off each year. That is almost unheard of around here. I can't go to the person who made the comment because I got it second hand and I don't want to get the person who told me in trouble. I just wish he had kept his mouth shut and not shared this with me. I know this feeling will go away and I'll feel better about everything again but I'm getting too old for this stuff.
But it's Wednesday and the sun is shining so it will be a good day. Well, I'll make it a good day.