I was a little weirded out to open my blog page and find a frog and what looks like a commerial ad where my meez used to stand knitting her little heart out. I do not have ads on my blog just because I don't want them (have nothing against them just don't want them). So, I tried to correct the problem by re-loading my meez from the photo on my computer. But now she is standing still and Kate is at work and can't help me figure out how to make her move. So, I went to the meez website and they are down. Down for some updates. Sure, now they have us all hooked on the cuties they will start messing with them. I thought it was just me but I have seen that several blogs that I read who also have meez also now have frogs. A little disconcerting,that.

I am almost finished the Torreado Monkey socks. They don't look all that different so I will spare boring you with a photo. My new sock policy is that for every pair of socks I make for someone else, the next pair is for me. I think it is the only way I will ever get a drawer full of soft handknit socks. I am infatuated with sock knitting and I guess only time will tell if this infatuation grows into "true love" that lasts.

I am home from work early and boy does it feel good. This has been a miserable week and I am not usually a miserable person. I am pretty easy going and take most things in stride but this week I was so angry at the attitude of a coworker that I was ready to cry. Tears of anger but tears nonetheless. Now, I am not ashamed or afraid to cry. In fact, the joke in my family is to all look at mom if there is something sad/touching on the television because they know I will have tears in my eyes. But there is something about being brought to tears by someone who is supposed to be on your team and who you are supposed to be working with that is not ok. I made the mistake of leaving a message for my supervisor while I was emotional and now the ball is rolling. This coworker has caused many problems but they make allowances for her and everyone else has to put up with her. The message got forwarded to her supervisor so we'll see if anything changes. Let's not hold our breath, ok? This is community mental health. Our doctors don't get paid what doctors in private practice do. Most of them do this because they need to "give something back" and they like it. Some of them are burnt out and need to move on. Like say, this one who is causing all the upset. It all doesn't matter today because I have a 4 day weekend to refresh myself and re-gird my loins so I can go out and fight the good fight again.

I think we will spend part of our weekend driving off road through the Wharton State Forest. I will leave you with some photos of one of the most beautiful places I know. This is part of the Mullica River which wends its way through the Pinelands.

It's a perfect spot to refresh a tired soul. Something about the smell of the pines and cedars always feels so good.

I definitely think I have earned this badge. I knit on the train and have had folks sit and watch me knit and just before they get off, they ask, "what are you knitting"? I proudly share whichever sock I am working on at the time (they are always socks on the train, no room for anything else). I also knit at lunch and am teaching some of my folks in my social rehab group how to knit. I am slowly spreading the word....

The photo session went well. They made my short reddish brown hair slightly curly and pretty. And I had on more makeup at one time than I think I have worn in my entire lifetime, all together! When I looked in the mirror, I was floored. I never wear much makeup, just enough to protect my skin and cover skin flaws. This was strange. I didn't recognize me in the mirror. They reassured me that in order for my features to show up in the photos, they had to put that much makeup on me. It was not ugly, just heavy handed. And those red lips.....how did women manage to keep the lipstick off their teeth? The photographer managed to get some garter shots without showing off the cellulite on the back of my thighs (thanks celeste!). In about 2 weeks the photos will be available for me to view online and I can choose the pose I like and she will touch them up and I can frame them for Peter Kevin. It will be just in time for our anniversary. It was an adventure and I know he is pleased I did it.

Here is the finished monkey sock and the newly started second sock. I love the way the colors spiral down the leg. But I think the second one is not going to look quite the same. The stripes look wider. I started in what I thought was the same spot in the pattern repeat but maybe there really isn't a true repeat. There are the same number of stitches and the same size needles. They are for Emily and she doesn't care if they are matching. She is an "original" herself and doesn't care if her socks are originals as well.

I will be working more on sock 2 today as I make my debut as a pinup model. Yes, you heard me right, a pinup model. You know, Betty Grable, Vargas? In June, our local paper had an article about a photographer who takes 1940's style pinup photos. My husband said "Oh hon, if you get one of these done, I'll never ask for another present again" (I'll remind him of that when he wants to update the video card in his computer!). I called and made an appointment. I have met with the photographer and chosen clothes and told her the kind of "look" I want and today I go and have the pictures taken. I am not thrilled with having my picture taken so this is truly an act of love. I am not the skinny, young thing I once was and usually don't like pictures of myself. So, today I show up clean and unmade up and they do the hair and makeup and provide the wardrobe. She said wear black lace underwear, she has the garters and hose. If you are interested in looking at some of her work here is her address: Celeste Giuliani. She has done some really nice stuff.

I hope your Sunday is as interesting! Peter Kevin just brought me one of his famous omelettes. Breakfast in bed, and it isn't even my birthday!

I have been steadily working on the Torreador Monkeys and have almost finished one. For some reason this week it has been hard to stay awake past 9 pm and I have been falling asleep earlier. Maybe it's the cooler weather we have been having. Here is a photo of the sock blocker I made from a coat hanger. It was laughably easy

and free! I am waiting for Peter Kevin to seal up the parts I cut off. The instructions say to leave the hooks on so you can wash your socks and hang them up out of the way to dry but I didn't want them on there so I cut them and now have taped them together. They work really well. I'm not sure where the spot in the photo came from because there is no spot on the shirt I used as a background. How odd.

I have been reading blogs for only a few months and I am in awe of the women I read about. This stems from a conversation I had with Emily a few days ago. From 1992 - 94, my husband and I were separated. It's a long story but the gist of it is that I got to be a single mother of three children who were at the time 2,5 and 7. I was working full time and taking care of my precious girls. We refer to those two years as "the dark years" but I don't remember them as being dark. We didn't have much money but we have a wonderful local library and boy did we make use of it! We spent a lot of time reading and watching movies that we got for free at the library. The other night Em said "I don't know how you did it. It must have been hard". My response was "you do what you have to do". I think that's what impresses me about the women I read every day. Some folks have so many things to deal with but they are dealing and moving on with their lives. They are doing what they have to do and sometimes seeing the humor in everyday life. And they take time out to offer blessings and send words of praise or comfort to anyone who needs it. It is inspiring and wonderful.

Thank you all for being a treasured part of my day.

No photo today. I am upset and I am not sure if I should be upset at me or at the yarn manufacturers. I washed my white socks yesterday. You know, the ones I made for me? The pretty lace socks that I wore only one time? Well, they were white so I washed them with the white clothes which I wash with bleach. Now the pretty white socks are an ivory color. It is not a bad color, quite nice actually. But it is not the nice white that went into the washer. Does this happen often with sock yarn? I don't think I have ever made anything out of white wool for myself or anyone in my household. I may have given some white knitted items as baby gifts. Are they ivory too? I read the label on the yarn and didn't see any "no bleach" warnings. Needless to say, in the grand scheme of things, this is a minor blip and I will still wear the socks. I was just curious, does anyone else have this problem? Can I fix it and make them white again? Or should I get some dye and dye them a darker color?

Well, it's Monday morning and it's time to go to work. It's raining which made it that much harder to get out of bed and that much harder to actually do any work.....

I started the socks with the Art Walk Sock Yarn and I am loving it. The yarn is wool/bamboo/nylon and has a slight tendency to make fuzzies. I am getting used to that. I tried to take some photos but was very disappointed by the quality. Then I started to play with the settings and guess what? I found the "close up" setting. Now, I have owned the camera for almost a year and have never used this setting (didn't even know it was there). The result is that now I can take photos like this and actually show the stitches and not have them be blurry. Woot! The socks are really pretty in this pattern and there has already been some "discussion" as to who gets them.

I also made a sock blocker. I am so impressed with myself. I found the instructions in my SnB calendar for Tuesday Aug 14. I was home sick and had some time for playing around. It worked really well.

Unfortunately, unless you look really close, you cannot see the coat hanger I used for this arts and crafts project. You can see the scotch tape I used to hold the edges together after I cut off the curvy hanger bit. Peter Kevin assures me he can fix that with something so that it holds together better. I took this photo and the one above outside on my front step. You can see the lovely cement there in the photo. What you cannot see is the nest of Cicada Killer Wasps that is under the steps. Now, I am an allergic person and try to avoid stinging insects but I wanted to get a photo of the color of the socks in "natural light" to show how beautifully the charcoal color spirals around the red/pink colors . So, I went out front, quickly snapped the photos and ran back into the house. We have never had these wasps before and didn't know what they were. They are BIG suckers, bigger than my pinky and ugly as all get out. We tried the natural insecticide recommended by some university (oil and vinegar poured onto and around the holes they make) and it seems to be working but I still am wary of being out there. And the front of our house smells like salad....

And then there were two. Voila! This is my first pair of socks that I knitted for me. I have knitted socks for several other folks but these are mine, all mine. Even though Emily wants to get her hands (feet!) on them, they are mine. They fit very nicely and make my feet feel loved. Now I am waiting for my darling Peter Kevin to finish untangling the mess that is my Art Walk Sock Yarn (the cat had a hand in this and it is now a large tangle) so I can start some socks with that. Fortunately, he likes puzzles and looks upon this as a challenge.

We never got to the park. Some intestinal distress that continues to plague me kept me home and near the facilities. The lake is only open for a few more weeks (closes Labor Day) and I feel like we have not taken advantage of it enough. Summer is almost gone and while I will not miss the weather (I am tired of being wilted and sweaty when I get to work in the morning) I will miss the lazy quality to the days. Nothing seems as urgent or important in the summer.

This fall I will be 50. And while I know in my head that it is just a number, it feels like a fairly significant number. Somehow I am not where I always thought I would be at 50 and no, I don't know where I thought I would be but this does not feel like it. Makes no sense, I know. I am a fortunate person in a lot of ways and try to be mindful of that. I have my family and a job that is fulfilling and enough hobbies and things to keep me interested. I still like to learn new things and meet new people. I guess I always thought I would feel more grown up. I still have trouble remembering sometimes that I AM the grown up. How weird is all that? I don't want to be 18 or even 25 again. I don't mind my age, I just wish I felt my age (mentally). I still feel insecure and vulnerable and scared sometimes. I guess that is something that never goes away.

Enough. It is enough to know that I am loved and able to love and there are people to whom I am important. The rest of it will have to sort itself out when I finish growing up. "Growing older is not an option, growing up is...."

Yay! The weather has finally broken and today was about as beautiful a day as you could ask for. The sun was out and the humidity was about gone. So how did we spend this paragon of a day? Cleaning the house and doing various chores that it has been just too hot to do. Tomorrow we are planning a picnic at the park on the Delaware River. Red Bank Battlefield is part of the National Park system and is really nice. There is not much but open spaces, some pavilions and the river. It is across the river from the Phila airport and you can watch the planes come in.

Friday night we went to an outdoor concert at a park. A band of local Irishmen called Blackthorn played in a lovely park pavilion. I had never really listened to them before and must say I was not enjoying the music because there seemed to be too much distortion from the speakers. I thought I must be getting too old until my brother whispered "their sound man sucks". Whew. It was not me. They actually sounded good as we walked away toward our car. The amazing thing was that I needed a hoodie and a woolen sweater! It was cool, damp and breezy. I did get a few inches done on my second sock. This is how sock number one looks on my foot. Pretty, huh?

Here is sock number one of the hourglass lace pattern from magknits. I finished it last night and immediately started number two. These are my socks, although Emily has already started hinting that "Katie has 2 pairs of hand knitted socks and I only have 1-you must love her more". After I agree that yes, I do love Katie more, I remind her that she could make herself a pair of socks. She is still working on a pair for a friend of hers who is stationed in Iraq. After I finish these, I have some nice soft yarn to make some socks for him to put into a care package. Those will take some time because he has big feet! I loved to watch him play soccer when he and Emily were in 8th grade together. He was graceful/gawky like a baby giraffe. All legs and height. Now he is still rather tall but that frame has some muscle and girth to it.

Did you ever sit in a meeting and have someone, say a supervisor, ask for a volunteer for something that was not particularly odious but you didn't want to do? And then you find yourself starting to think, I should go to this 2 day training on how to fill out Soc Sec Disability forms, even though I really don't want to and what can they possibly talk about for two whole days? Well, that happened to me today. Now, I like to go to some trainings because I get a day out of the office and often learn something new and interesting about my job. But, I have no desire to spend TWO WHOLE DAYS learning to fill out a form. That sounds about as interesting as, as, I can't even think of anything more boring. And yet, I found myself almost volunteering because NO ONE ELSE DID. That's right. My co-workers are all smarter than I am and kept their mouths shut and their eyes down. Why do I feel like I have to step in and do this? I have enough things to do without being the person who knows the forms. I have new interns coming in a month and they require frequent care in the beginning. I need strength to not feel guilty...

Otherwise things here are flowing along like honey in August. When the weather is this hot and humid, you just got to let things go and slow way down. Although, if I get any slower, I will be moving in reverse.

This arrived today. It is the first selection in the Art Walk Sock Yarn club. The colors came from a Salvador Dali painting entitled "The Hallucinogenic Torreador". It is absolutely gorgeous. I didn't realize you could get so many colors into one skein of yarn and still make it look fabulous! Roxanne, who dies yarn for zengarden.com, did an amazing job. Am I gushing? I am sorry. It it just so pretty.



Now I have to find a pattern that will do it justice. Hmm, any thoughts? I am thinking maybe something out of my new Knitting on the Road book but it has to be a fairly plain pattern to show off the yarn. Of course, there is always another pair of monkeys.....

This is my beautiful Katie who turns 18 tomorrow. The hat is the monkey hat from knitty (sorry, lost the link). I finished the hat while she was away at her convention in July. It is the first time I have done two color knitting where I didn't just do stripes that I knotted together. It was a small challenge but it is so darn cute. I just couldn't wait till Christmas to give it to her. Happy Birthday Katie!

(You'll notice she's knitting in the picture. My needles, my yarn, I guess 18 doesn't mean grown up.)

It starts out so innocently. My daughter Emily was not going to have enough yarn to finish a baby afghan for a friend. She has to work and the lys that carries the yarn she needs (that little bit of orange in the top of the photo is her yarn) is only open summer hours. (sigh) What's a mother to do? I volunteered to make the drive to KnittyKnotty to pick up her yarn. Kate overhears "yarn store" and decides she wants to come along. So we make the supreme sacrifice and get to the store. Kate's birthday is Sunday so I buy her some sock yarn she really likes as an early gift. My birthday is in 3 months, so I buy me an early gift, too. One skein of tofutsies in pinks and greys and three skeins of blue and black and white self patterning sock yarn. Not too bad? Well, I am waiting for 2 sock club deliveries this week. My last delivery from my sotm club yarn from castleman and the first one in the Art Walk Sock Yarn club. I hoped one of them would come today but no luck. So, maybe I was buying myself some "consolation yarn". I thought I had more willpower than that. I guess not. Self knowledge is a frightful thing. I also felt jealous of the women there who had the time to come in on a Friday morning and sit and knit. I wondered if my supervisor would consider letting me work a 4 day week so I could sit and knit.....probably not. Today I took a personal day because there is a virus going around and I was feeling under the weather.

They had IK's fall issue in the store. I thought it was not due out until the 14th but I grabbed one in case someone had made a mistake and pulled them off the shelves. All in all, a fruitful trip.

My white lace sock continues to plague me but I am just slogging along. They look nice but are taking longer than I thought. Several times, I have thought I would give up and just try another pattern, but I am a stubborn woman. I WILL NOT let a pattern get the better of me. We have a busy weekend ahead with Kate's 18th (yay) birthday planned for a day at the lake with her friends but I will spend some quality time with the sock. The weather is supposed to be more of this unbearable heat and humidity so there's not much else we can do.

Good, peaceful weekend everyone.

PS Sorry about there being no breaks in the text. I have tried to put them in several times but blogger won't allow them. I think it's easier to read with some breaks.