National Poetry Month. Today is the end. So, here's one of my favorites

I'm Nobody! Who are you?

I'm Nobody! Who are you?
Are you -- Nobody -- Too?
Then there's a pair of us!
Don't tell! they'd advertise -- you know!

How dreary -- to be -- Somebody!
How public -- like a Frog --
To tell one's name -- the livelong June --
To an admiring Bog

-Emily Dickinson

And because Tolkien holds such a big place in my heart,

Still round the corner

there may wait

A new road

or some secret gate.

And though I oft

have passed them by

The day will come

at last when I

Shall take the hidden paths that run

West of the moon,

East of the sun.

Not really a hidden path there but a beckoning one anyway.

I enjoyed reading all the poems on people's blogs this month. Some were deep and profound and some were light and airy. I probably read more poetry this month than in all of the previous year. And that's sad. I'll have to rectify that.

One of the things I've learned over the years working in Social Rehabilitation is to never assume that everyone that signs up for a trip will show up that day. After days of warm sunshine, today we are having a damp, chilly, showery day. And today we were walking 8 blocks to the Constitution Center. I only had 9 people sign up (out of 18) because it meant walking. We had 5 people actually show up to go.

We left the building and walked down Locust Street. You can see the brick sidewalks that are ubiquitous in this part of the city. Ahead is Washington Square Park. I forgot to take a photo of the statue of George Washington. It stands on the grave of the unknown soldier from the Revolutionary War with a quote, "Freedom is a light for which so many have died in darkness". This whole park was once a revolutionary era grave yard. Now, it's an urban pocket of loveliness with benches that will be filled when the weather gets nice.

We walked through Independence Park. This is Independence Hall. At one time, the Liberty Bell was housed in here but now that has its own pavilion. Independence Hall is where the Declaration of Independence was read aloud for the first time in 1776. It's also where the delegates to the Continental Congress met to hammer out the constitution. After September 11, you couldn't walk through the park for years. It was fenced off and you had to enter the Hall from the front and had to be accompanied by a guard. Now, you still have to be accompanied and you're not allowed to wander around the Hall but you can sit in the park. This is Independence Hall from the other side, down by the Constitution Center. I love the fact that it sits amid all the modern buildings and still outshines them all.

And if you turn around and look behind you, there is the Constitution Center. They do not allow photos inside the exhibits. This bummed me out because there was a piece of woven fabric from the early 1700's that was beautiful. And an amazing array of artifacts.

We went to see the America I Am exhibit. It was the influence and importance of African Americans in American history. It was a breathtaking exhibit. I understand it is going to travel around to all the states so if it comes near, go see it.

I am not a history buff. Probably because I had teachers who were all about the dates and battles which I find boring. Tell me about the people. That's where the interesting stuff is. This place is all about the people. It was great. I can't wait to take Pk back. He loves history.

That was my morning. I got back to work about 1 and worked until 3:30 and then headed home. It didn't rain on us as we walked so I felt lucky. Now, I am home listening to Pk's table saw make boards out of a black walnut tree that my brother took down. I love the smell from the workshop/garage. It wafts up through the bedroom window.

It's time to find the mp3 player and go start dinner. Red beans and rice with chorizo. Thanks to Tinkingbell who mentioned chorizo this morning. I hadn't a clue what to make for dinner and she gave me an idea. Then maybe some knitting and an early bed. I haven't been sleeping well and I'm feeling beat.

Tomorrow is the last day of National Poetry Month. I have to spend some time deciding which one to end with!

A nice thing happened today. I got a phone message from the woman who makes the appointments in my dentist's office. She wanted to know how Em is doing. I like my dentist and I like her receptionist. We talk about knitting while I wait for my appointment. We talk about our families and how they are doing. She told me that her mother in law is praying for Em and lighting candles. This lovely woman who doesn't know my daughter is saying prayers and lighting candles.

At first this felt a little strange. And then I decided that I'd take all the good wishes I can get, all the positive energy I can muster. There is no such thing as too many good wishes. My office mate gets a little peeved when someone says "have a blessed day". I figure, I'll take the good wishes in the spirit in which they were intended. Someone is wishing blessings on me. Who am I to turn down blessings? Even if I don't believe in their deity. I appreciate the thought.

And I appreciate all the good thoughts, positive wishes and prayers that are being said on Em's behalf. It makes my heart feel good to know that she is surrounded by positive energy. It gives me hope that whatever we learn this week, it'll all be fine in the end.

A sad thing happened today. Another lys announced it's closing. This is the second one in 6 months. I ignored the first email about the sale because with all the electronics that need to be replaced in my house, the yarn budget is nil. I deleted the email. Today I read the new email and realized that they are closing. This leaves one store in Haddonfield where they are snobby and one store about 25 miles away in Mt. Holly where they are terrific but you can't just run out and get something on a whim. There is a Michael's and and AC Moore but their selection of yarn is lacking something. Like, wool. Pk said "the hobby has reached it's peak" but I don't think so. I think that it's the economic climate and the easy availability of yarn online. I am guilty of buying yarn online but I also shopped at the local stores. I LIKE being able to touch the yarn before I buy. Sigh.

I am taking some people from the Social Rehab group to the Constitution Center tomorrow. We are going to see the America I Am exhibit. I am really looking forward to this. One of the best parts of working in Philadelphia is the availability of museums and exhibits. Hopefully, I'll be able to get some photos.

I'm off to make a salad to go with the burgers Pk is getting ready to grill. I love this time of year!

Today was the first full day back to work since last Monday. The temps here are still hovering around 90 degrees (32.2 C). This is about 30 degrees warmer than April is supposed to be. The building had no a/c on so it was stuffy and hard to breathe all day. I could open the office window but by the time afternoon rolled around, that wasn't much of a help. Another day of summer-like weather and then the rains will come and wash it all away. Good thing, too. My car is covered with pollen from the trees and I can feel it in my nose.

A while ago, I bought this pattern at my lys. It's called Queen Anne's lace. I bought some laceweight yarn to use for it but the yarn I bought is brown. I'm thinking I don't want to knit this in brown so I think I am going to be ambitious and spin enough yarn to knit it. I have 2 pounds of white/ecru merino roving that would look lovely. I've started spinning the yarn and I think it'll take a long time to finish enough to make this shawl. But I've got time. No hurries, be happy. (sorry, Mr. McFerrin)

So, what are you doing to protect yourself from the swine flu? One of my very favorite web comics is xkcd. He is funny despite being a former rocket scientist (or maybe because of it). This was the comic for today. The news here is full of "THE SWINE FLU!!!" pre-epidemic. Enjoy. It gave me a good laugh today.

So, have a good Monday evening. Watch out for flu bugs!

Yesterday didn't come out quite as I expected it. I had such good intentions.(and we all know what the road to hell is paved with, don't we? Good thing I don't believe in hell.) We called around to get a part for our oven. We are familiar with this part. We have replaced it before. It's a computer-like component that controls all of the electric functions. Like the burner ignition, the oven and broiler. It's important. We got lucky and found one at a dealer only about 45 minutes away. Or so we thought. Forgetting that it was one of the warmest, nicest Saturdays we've had this year, we set out on the expressway. Only to run smack dab into the traffic headed for the zoo. And the construction traffic that regularly clogs the road. It took us over an hour and a half to get there. And two hundred dollars later (none of these parts is cheap) we set off for home. We took an alternate route that went out of our way but it took less than an hour. Pk put the module in and we have a stove. Next, we have to replace a module in the dishwasher, the microwave, probably the dryer (the heating element is not working and we may not be able to fix it), the cd player and stereo receiver. All because of a power surge. Such is life. We still think of ourselves as lucky.

So, the cleaning got done but not the windows or the curtains. I had to take the wet clothes to the local laundramat to use the dryers. Not really a big deal. They're not busy on a late Sat. afternoon and it only took about an hour and five dollars worth of quarters. We had some sandwiches for dinner and called it good.


Today, Pk and I went to the grocery store and foraged for food. He is in the garage using a lathe to make a handle for something. I have been working on my lace. It's knit in two parts. I am finishing up the first (of four) repeats for the middle and then I'll put that on waste, or maybe a needle since it will be grafted to the other side. I tried to stretch it out a bit to get an idea of what it'll look like and it's nice. These colors are true but you can't see the bits of purple that run through it. It's a merino/silk blend and it's light as a feather. It's the North Sea Shawl from Folk Shawls by Cheryl Oberle. I think I'd like to make all of them in the book. Some are just wonderfully comforting looking and some are spectacular.


We are having some summer-like weather. It was so warm last night that all I did was sweat. Pk went out to the garage and found a fan and that made it bearable. It's not humid but we aren't acclimated to this warmth. This past week we were still getting frost overnight. I haven't even gotten the summer clothes out of storage yet. That will be next week's chore. It feels nice to run around in bare feet with shorts on,though. I had to give myself a pedicure yesterday so I'm not ashamed to put on flip flops. And I have to find some short sleeved shirts to wear to work this week. It won't last. The cooler spring weather will be back and summer will have to wait it's turn.

National Poetry Month is almost over. And this past week was ANZAC Day. Bells shared a favorite memorial type poem/song and I want to share mine. We often hear this in May when we celebrate Memorial Day but it's just as appropriate now.

In Flanders Fields By: Lieutenant Colonel John McCrae, MD (1872-1918)
Canadian Army

In Flanders Fields the poppies blow
Between the crosses row on row,
That mark our place; and in the sky
The larks, still bravely singing, fly
Scarce heard amid the guns below.

We are the Dead.
Short days ago
We lived, felt dawn, saw sunset glow,
Loved and were loved, and now we lie
In Flanders fields.

Take up our quarrel with the foe:
To you from failing hands we throw
The torch; be yours to hold it high.
If ye break faith with us who die
We shall not sleep, though poppies grow
In Flanders fields.

I hope you're enjoying the rest of the weekend.

One of Pk's favorite ways to describe himself is as "god's cat toy. He forgets about me and I'm under the couch for a while but then he finds me and bats me around for a bit."

Last week was a doozy with his car dying, Em's surgery and then the power going out and needing an extensive upgrade. But, this is the end of that week and next week we start out fresh.

The week was not devoid of knitting or spinning for comfort. I finished one of the Tofutsie Tidal Wave socks. Here is a portrait I like to call Sock With Computer on Unmade Bed. The pattern is easy to learn and I like it.

It is a subtle, lacey pattern that reminds me of waves heading toward shore. I've turned the heel on Pk's brown striped sock. And I finished spinning the blue roving. It's a small skein, less than 500 yards so for now, I'll just leave it in the spinning basket and admire it.

Today is the day I feel like washing windows and curtains and vaccuming behind the furniture. Well, I don't really feel like it but I don't hate the idea as much as I normally do. The weather is nice and as soon as PK is out of the shower, the curtains and bedspreads are going in the wash. He's going to call around and see about getting a replacement module for the oven. And grocery shopping and laundry has to happen sometime this weekend. Hopefully, we can get these things done today and then tomorrow we can relax and have a day off before we start in on next week.

Well, I'm off to wash the windows (thank the gods they're tilt windows and easy to clean!) and start the spring cleaning. And the dust shall be flying. See you all on the flip side.

Sorry, I missed yesterday, we had no power for almost 2 days. Boy, when it rains, it pours.

We got home on Wed after seeing Em and delivering the fat and sugar. (and lying and telling the doctor that the grease stained box contained fruit and low fat dip). Pk was chillin' in the garage and noticed a buzzing noise. He noticed a wire was arcing and moved it. All the power in the house went out.

Houses are really silent when the power goes out. REALLY silent. After much investigation and some conversation with a nice electrician who didn't charge us for coming out to the house and looking things over, it was determined that the power company had to be called. They came out within an hour and after 2 days of no power, we have our power restored. It was odd. We had hot water because the hot water heater is gas powered and we could cook on the gas stove. No lights, no way to recharge cell phones and NO INTERNETS!

Now, I have to go and clean out the fridge. Fortunately, there wasn't too much inside. We have to replace the computer module for the stove and we're not sure about the dishwasher. There was a power surge before the power went out and these computer driven appliances didn't recover. We have to upgrade the service and the electrician will send us an estimate. It will be costly.

Em is hanging in there. No results as of yet. We're waiting. We are having lovely weather with a predicted temp tomorrow of 80 (27 C). Maybe a picnic will happen. Whatever happens, we'll get through it. That's how we roll here.

We're getting ready to go to the bakery to get some creme donuts for Em (ok, and for me,too). She started texting me at 7 this morning. I guess she figured if she was awake, eveyone else would be too. I have to remind her of her "double digit" motto of waking up. (she figures that no one should be awake before the double digit time of 10).

She seems to be feeling better today. I know I am a little calmer after some fitful sleep. Pk and I are thankful for all of the virtual hugs. I could feel the warmth and concern wrapping around us last night. I spent some time at the spinning wheel, letting the monotonous motions soothe and calm my fretful mind.

I know that Em will come out of this fine in the end but I swear if one more doctor says "we just don't know what this is" I may out and out lose it. Where is all the medical science we hear about?

And so, I'll leave you with another cummings favorite


95

if up's the word; and a world grows greener
minute by second and ost by more-
if death is the loser and life is the winner
(and beggars are rich but misers are poor)
-let's touch the sky:
with a to and a fro
(and a here there where) and away we go

in even the laziest creature among us
a wisdom no knowledge can kill is astir-
now dull eyes are keen and now keen eyes are keener
(for young is the year,for young is the year)
-let's touch the sky:
with a great(and a gay
and a steep)deep rush through amazing day

it's brains without hearts have set saint against sinner;
put gain over gladness and joy under care-
let's do as an earth which can never do wrong does
(minute by second and ost by more)
-let's touch the sky:
with a strange(and a true)
and a climbing fall into far near blue

if beggars are rich(and a robin will sing his
robin a song)but misers are poor-
let's love until noone could quite be(and young is
the year, dear)as living as i'm and as you're
-let's touch the sky:
with a you and a me
and an every(who's any who's some)one who's we.



I tried to copy and paste this but it didn't copy as written so I had to type it. cummings poetry is as visual as it's verbal. I had to memorize a poem in high school (didn't we all?) and this was one I memorized. I still remember the first verse and I like it for the way it sounds.

I'm off to buy fat and sugar for my daughter. She's worth it.

ETA: blogger still didn't print it the way I typed it. If you want to see it in its original form, it's from his collection of 95 poems.

Small cut. Need I say more?

We got there this morning to learn that there had been an emergency and Em's surgery was pushed back. So, we sat and talked with her and Jim for four hours until they came and took her away.

At this point, we were taken to the cafeteria/waiting area. We were told there would be updates as soon as they could tell us anything. Jim and Pk stalked out an outlet so Jim was playing computer games while I knitted and Pk read. All too soon, the assistant came out to say Em was done. We expected 6 and 1/2 hours but it was only 2.

I cried. The stress came pouring out of my eyes and down my face. I know Em is ok but I couldn't help the tears. The alien baby is attached to Em's spine and they biopsied all around it so they can make sure that there is no chance of cancer. The surgeon said, "we have to be careful that there are no cells left that might grow or spread". I get it. I really do but now we wait for another week for results and do this all over again. Or we wait and go through 6 weeks of radiation and then surgery.

Em is upset. She is in pain and has a chest tube (which can't be comfortable) and an epidural. They're keeping her overnight and then she'll come home tomorrow. I cried when I saw her which made her cry. She's so tired....

We stayed in the ICU for a little while but there is really not room in there so Pk and I came home and left the space for Jim. It was hard to walk away from my baby but there was really nothing I could do and she needs to rest, not entertain us.

I don't know what else to say. I'm worn out. I'll update you all as soon as there is news either way.

Just a quickie, drive by post. Em got her blood tests done today and everything seems to be full speed ahead for the surgery tomorrow. It was all I thought about today but I made it through the work day.

Now, it's time to fix some dinner, keep an eye on the crawlspace (which tends to fill up with water when it rains and it has been pouring all day), and watch A Midsummer Night's Dream to keep my mind busy.

When the surgery is over tomorrow, I'll post as soon as I get home so you'll know quickly. Cross your fingers for a big cut! Since the oncologist seems to think that's the way it will go, I'm holding onto that with both hands.

Em is in good spirits. She texted me "Mom, this is nothing. I'm not worried". I told her that I would carry the worry for her so she can go into this thing positive minded and worry free. That's my job. I'm the mom.

And here we have an unblocked Wildflower. It is soft and drapey and looks lovely. This is the edging that gave me such a fit. It seems so easy once I got the hang of it. I can't wait to wear it to work. I have never worn shawls to work before but I think I'll make an exception for this one. It has a very different feel to it than wool. It's more purpley than the photo shows but with bits of light blue and red throughout. I don't think it will be very warm. I'll wear it with a white summer skirt when the weather warms up.

Now I can go back to the North Sea shawl that I started quite a while ago. It's been so long, I've forgotten where I left off. I'm hoping I left a note in the book..... I also have some other pretty lace weight that I would like to play with but having so many unfinished things makes me twitchy so I'll finish the shawl and one of the three pairs of socks I have going and Em's sweater. Musn't forget that.



Yesterday was such a nice day . My body was tired and sore. I haven't done anything out of the ordinary so I think it's the stress. It makes my brain tired and I think it lodges in my muscles. I slept 9 hours Friday night but still had some lingering tiredness. I spent most of Saturday at the spinning wheel. It was peaceful and the sun felt warm and it didn't require much in the way of brain power. The air was tender and beautiful. It feels like spring for the first time. I needed it. Pk spent the day at an old tool auction so I got to spend most of the day alone. I think I needed that, too. He was full of excitement at being at an actual auction. He successfully bid on two lots and is now the proud owner of some more planes and some chisels. He has quite a collection at this point.

It's a little cooler today. Not so much sun but the windows are all open. Pk will work on his car and I will provide support. I'm not really much support. I kinda stand around saying, "do you need anything? Want a drink?" and other useful things like that. Mostly, I stay out of the way.

We're beginning the weekly debate of what to have for brunch. I'm thinking french toast but it's still up in the air. I'm just pretty sure I don't want eggs and I don't know if I feel like making pancakes. Mostly, I think I'd like someone else to cook it and serve it to me. Then I'd feel less picky.

For National Poetry month, I leave you with a verse from a song by Harry Chapin. Harry was one of my favorite singer/songwriters. His music was all about the life and people around him. This is from a song called Mr. Tanner. It's about a man who likes to sing and decides to pursue music full time without critical success.

But music was his life
It was not his livelihood
And it made him feel so happy
And it made him feel so good.
He sang from his heart
And he sang from his soul.
He did not know how well he sang
It just made him whole.


This song reminds me that it doesn't matter how well you do something if it feeds some place deep in your soul. I love to sing. I don't do it very well so I tend to keep it to myself. The problem is when I put on the mp3 player with music, I can't seem to help myself. This is one of the reasons I don't listen to music on the train. I don't want to sing and upset the morning commute of my fellow riders. So, my family is subjected to me singing. They have to listen. Thank goodness for families.

I finished the Wildflowers Shawl. (scroll down for the pattern). Finally, after about a year. It was a long time ago that Roxie sent the skein of bamboo dyed by her friend. I loved it immediately and one day when I just needed something different to work with, I pulled it out and remembered the pattern I liked so much. I cast it on and soon realized I would need more yarn (yardage? what's that?) and sent a sample to Theresa who matched it and sent me another skein. The pattern was easy and enjoyable to work. Then came the edging which absolutely confuzzled me. I had to wait for Kate to work on hers and figure it out. She explained it and after some trial and error (lots of error), I got it and with a concerted effort, I finished the edging. I grafted the edges together like the directions called for and it worked. I soaked it in cold water. Very shortly the water was purple. I think if I need to wash it again, I'll add some vinegar. I was afraid that a lot of the color washed out but it looks ok. I tried for an artsy fartsy shot but I'm just not good at that kind of thing. So, here it is blocking on the rubber squares. My fingers were purple by the time I finished blocking it. I couldn't find too much information on blocking 100% percent bamboo yarn so I just treated it like wool but didn't block it too hard. When it's dry tomorrow, I'll take a photo in the sunshine. It came out better than I thought it would and I'm proud of it.

Pk is at a tool auction and I am spending the day in fibery pursuits. I am going to spin the blue roving and look for a pattern for some small scarf that will show it off.


And because every day is a good one if it includes a photo of a cat, here's Calvin in his new favorite spot, the laundry basket. The sun shines in through the back window at the end of the day and he can sit in comfort on the dirty clothes and watch the squirrels out the windows.

Have a good Saturday!

Thanks for all the support and good wishes. (and that offer of an alibi, Julie). I wish I could say that knowing when the surgery will be has made it easier. Pk and I are trying not to dwell on it and just get through the next 4 days. What makes me angriest is that if the doctors who make the decisions were paying attention, this would have been taken care of 6 weeks ago and by now, Em would be healing up and picking her life back up.

Early Tuesday morning, they will go in with a camera and take a look around. More samples will be taken and analyzed and then the surgeon will decide how to take it out. Em says the oncologist told her it does not look like sarcoma. The odds are all in her favor that it's a fibrous tumor and can be taken out. That's what we're hoping for. Depending on what they see with the camera, they'll decide whether to go in through the front or the back. Em is hoping for the back because she figures she can get a "kick-ass tattoo" back there to cover the scar. I think PK is afraid I'll go for another tattoo at the same time. I'll admit, the thought has crossed my mind......

We'll be sitting with Jim during the procedure. I'll take the brown striped socks to work on. Nice, mindless ribbed socks. I think I can probably handle that. And I have to get a move on with Em's sweater.

Isn't technology amazing? Years ago, exploratory surgery involved huge, long incisions and lots of messing around. Now it involves a little puncture and a camera. How cool is that? I am fascinated by this stuff and would love to be there to see the pictures.

And because I want to share something pretty here is a roving I bought in Lancaster
at a lovely shop called Ladies of the Loom. They were extremely nice and very knowledgeable and had a huge Kromski Polonaise wheel there that I know is worth about a thousand dollars. It was impressive and gorgeous. I don't know how many ounces the bag held but this is a merino/silk blend by Louet. It is soft. I've managed to spin it into a laceweight yarn (22wpi) and I have a little over 100 yards already spun and maybe the same yet to spin. I need to find a small lacey thing to make out of it. Maybe a small scarf. When Em is feeling well, we'll take a trip there. I don't think she'll be up to a trip to Maryland Sheep and Wool this year. I'm sorry about that since we missed last year because of my surgery. I was looking forward to going with her and Kate but I guess she'll have to wait until next year.

Have a good Friday. Keep safe and stay well.

Here's a little frustrating news for a Thursday morning. Yesterday, Em and Jim spent the night at our house. Why? Because she has an appointment with the surgeon this morning at 8 (in ten minutes). The frustrating thing is that we don't know any more than we did yesterday. Or six weeks ago. Six weeks. That's how long we have been waiting for test results for a test that, evidently, doesn't exist.

How does this happen? The Interventional Radiologist (the guy who did the needle biopsy) told Em that they would sent the tissue out for the genetic test. She told the surgeon that she was waiting for the test results so everything went on hold. Em called the surgeon's office every few days and was told repeatedly, "no results, yet". After a few weeks, she started calling the pulmonologist (who supposedly ordered the test) and they took several days to return her calls. Only to tell her that there was no such test. Needless to say, Em was incredulous. She called the surgeon's office and he is seeing her this morning. He said something about surgery very soon.

So, soon we should have resolution. The PET scan showed that the tumor is localized and there doesn't seem to be any other suspicious activity any where else and all of the other scans show a well defined mass with no bone involvement. The signs look good for complete removal and complete recovery. I'll let you know.

Em and Jim were on the train with us this morning. They were behind us and in the reflection of the train window, I could watch her and she didn't know I was watching. I realized (again) how very precious that face is to me. I felt the tears start to roll down my face and it took a few minutes to collect myself so I could get off the train and face the day.

So, in honor of Emily Jane, here's one of my very favorite poems.


Still I Rise

You may write me down in history
With your bitter, twisted lies,
You may trod me in the very dirt
But still, like dust, I'll rise.

Does my sassiness upset you?
Why are you beset with gloom?
'Cause I walk like I've got oil wells
Pumping in my living room.

Just like moons and like suns,
With the certainty of tides,
Just like hopes springing high,
Still I'll rise.

Did you want to see me broken?
Bowed head and lowered eyes?
Shoulders falling down like teardrops.
Weakened by my soulful cries.

Does my haughtiness offend you?
Don't you take it awful hard
'Cause I laugh like I've got gold mines
Diggin' in my own back yard.

You may shoot me with your words,
You may cut me with your eyes,
You may kill me with your hatefulness,
But still, like air, I'll rise.

Does my sexiness upset you?
Does it come as a surprise
That I dance like I've got diamonds
At the meeting of my thighs?

Out of the huts of history's shame
I rise
Up from a past that's rooted in pain
I rise

I'm a black ocean,
leaping and wide,
Welling and swelling
I bear in the tide.

Leaving behind nights of terror and fear
I rise
Into a daybreak that's wondrously clear
I rise

Bringing the gifts that my ancestors gave,
I am the dream and the hope of the slave.
I rise
I rise
I rise.

Maya Angelou


ETA: Emily is scheduled for surgery on Tuesday. Hopefully, they'll be able to remove the entire thing at that time. She said it'll depend on what they find. Finally, a date. Things can get taken care of and we can all get back to our regularly scheduled lives.

Here is my Wildflowers shawl getting near to the finished point. Now that I have learned to put the edging on, it has moved along at a good clip. I've got about 1/3 of the edging on one side left and then I have to graft the bottom edges together. I've got the grafting thing down but look at this. See how there is all that space? I followed the directions and put the stitches on one side

on the waste yarn and re-cast on for the edging on the other side. I've played around with a diamond shape to graft into place there. I started with three stitches and will just increase with strategically placed yarn overs until I have the size and shape I need. Then I'll graft it into place. That's my plan at this point. If anyone else has a better idea, I'm game.

I spent the day at a training on how to write a WRAP (wellness recovery action plan). This was day two of the training. I had homework to do (some of which I did at McDonalds while eating pancakes and sausage after I dropped Pk off at the train), some of which involved talking to clients and helping them to write their own plans. The first part of the plan is to write what you're like on a good day. That is much harder than it sounds. We are not programmed to talk about ourselves in positive terms. It was an interesting discussion and my group participants agreed to spend some time thinking about how they would describe themselves. I figured I should try to do it myself so I had some idea of what they are going through.

But that will have to wait until tomorrow. The internet is all wonky and keeps going out on me. It must be the windy, rainy weather.

See you all tomorrow.

Today is the 14th, A Day in Your Life time. Today is a busy 14th. I got up at my usual time (6 am) and stumbled toward the shower. I got a haircut last night and wasn't sure how I felt about it so I was a bit apprehensive to look at it this morning. I'm not sure what I thought it was going to be but it's better than before it got cut. I don't remember too many times walking away from the salon feeling thrilled with my haircut. Usually, I'm just glad it's not horror movie worthy.

Today it's not too bad. I had to slap some hair color on it last night because the hair cut revealed way too much grey for me to live with. It's short and easy to deal with.

Today I'll be spending much of my day right here at my desk. You can see the toys under the monitor. I'll start the day looking at the schedule and looking up phone numbers and calling people to remind them they have appointments. We are scheduled through till 4:30. It's raining and that always affects how many people come out. This is the painting that one of my clients who is an art student did. I put it up on the wall where it's not readily visible since it's a nude. I like it and I like that I know the artist. She is graduating this spring and will be out looking for a job to support her art.

Today, I filed our taxes and paid what we owe. What a good citizen I am. This is the first time in 25 years we have not been able to claim a child as a dependent and it made a difference. There are three of them living in the house and one is unemployed and I feed them and shelter them but they are not dependents. But we only owed 58 dollars to the Fed and 24 to the State so it wasn't too bad. And since tomorrow is the deadline, I got them in in the nick of time. I don't know why I put them off so long. It's not hard if you file online.

Today is my brother's 41st birthday. I know he doesn't read this (I'm not sure he knows it exists) but I wanted to wish him a Happy Birthday anyway. Since there are 10 years between us, sometimes it felt like I raised him as much as my parents did. I was the one who introduced him to horror movies (yay for Creature Double Feature on Saturday) and science fiction (trekkies forever!). I watched him grow from a precocious little boy into an interesting man. I love him dearly although I'm not sure I've ever said those words to him. I may have to rectify that.

We are in the middle of an inspection here at work. We pay the Joint Commission on Accreditation of Healthcare Organizations to come in and do a week long inspection. We gear up for it like you wouldn't believe. And then we wait for their unnanounced visit. Finally, they came yesterday and will be here most of the week. It's a chance for us to show what we're made of and how well we do our stuff. It's also how we qualify for Medicare/Medicaid payments. Day one went well and now we are getting ready for Day Two (da da da dum). I'm just glad they finally came and now we'll all be able to breathe for the next three years.

I'll spend my afternoon in the clinic with the psychiatrist. And then I'll pack it in and go home and fix some dinner and if I'm lucky, put my feet up and knit. Tomorrow I'll be at a training so there's a break in the week.

Have a good 14th. What are you doing today?

You know, I realize in my head that as it is becoming spring here in the north, that it is becoming fall in the south. I just never think of it in terms of holidays like Easter. It must be strange to celebrate a holiday that is all about rebirth and new life in the fall. Here, it seems to be a natural thing, chicks and lambs and bunnies and flowers blooming. After all those years of going back to school, I sometimes associate fall with new beginnings, just different ones.

And in my mind the words January and February scream Winter!Cold!Ice!. And July and August are definitely connected to Hot!Sweaty!Humid!. It's just an odd thought for a Monday morning where the temp is 38 degrees F (3 degrees C) and is expected to rise to 58 F (14C) by the end of the day. It's hard to know how to dress. I really could have used some gloves this morning but it felt silly since it's April.

I had an Australian co-worker for a few years. He was always amused that we didn't have Easter Monday as a holiday like any other normal (read Australian) country . He also introduced me to a dish called rumblety thumps which I loved and "bob's your uncle" which my family adopted and now uses.

Here's the finished and dressed angel food cake with chocolate covered strawberries. It was delicious. The cake is nice and high since I used a mix. The mix isn't as tender as a cake made from scratch but some whipped cream and strawberries and chocolate and no one complained.

We had the quiet day I imagined. Kate and I listened to Jesus Christ Superstar and Godspell, a tradition. The interesting thing is the contrast between the two messages and the style in which they are delivered. Godspell showcases Jesus as vulnerable and Superstar shows him as almost arrogant. Very different and they always lead to interesting discussions.

We knitted and I finished one side of the edging for the Wildflowers Shawl. It's sitting on waste yarn as I work the other side and then they get grafted together. There's quite a gap. I'm working on a way to graft them together with a piece in between to fill in the gap. I think I can knit a square and graft it into place.

The tree outside my office window is in bloom. It's an ornamental pear and it's reflecting the early morning sunshine. It's lovely. The flowers probably won't last beyond tomorrow as we're expecting rain for the next few days and these flowers are fleeting. All the more reason to stare out the window at them.....

Happy Easter. I've always enjoyed Easter, not necessarily as a religious holiday but as the harbinger of Spring. I know in all reality that there were rainy Easters in my life but in my memory, they're all tender, spring days.

When the girls were little, we hid eggs, sometimes in the house and some years in the yard. Plastic eggs filled with coins or candy. It was great fun and I remember hearing the cats batting the eggs across the floor during the night. There were baskets with chocolate bunnies and toys and other goodies. I spent considerable time finding the perfect basket fixin's. This year, I waited until the last minute because I wasn't sure I was feeling the whole "basket thing". When I headed out to the grocery store, I decided I was going to do baskets but not big ones. I went to Kmart and found some smaller baskets that are cute. I got some good chocolate on sale and some jelly beans. One has to have jelly beans on Easter.

As always, we dyed eggs. I love to dye eggs and Pk and I have dyed eggs every year, even before we had kids. Here's Pk concentrating on making a "work of art" because he doesn't just dye eggs, he makes art. And here's eggs that are dressed in their Easter finery. I spend the extra money to buy eggs with lower cholesterol because it's a problem in our family. They don't taste any different and I'm not sure if it isn't all a marketing scam but I don't want to give up eating eggs and neither does Pk.

And something I've never done before. Chocolate covered strawberries. They had some gorgeous berries at the grocery and I bought some Ghiradelli chocolate and voila! They are delicious. We'll have angel food cake with berries and whipped cream.

Since I'm writing this on Saturday night (thanks to the wonder of blogger), I'll post photos of the baskets and the cake Monday. I don't plan to turn on the computer on Sunday. I plan to have a peaceful, pleasant day with my family just enjoying their company. Maybe we'll do a puzzle or play a game. Either way, it won't be computerized. I'll knit some and talk some and probably eat way more than is good for me. But I'm surprisingly ok with that. I wish Em could be home for the holiday but she has to work. Kate will be home for a while but she has to work at night so she'll miss dinner. We'll save her a plate and I made Em a basket anyway. Not sure when she'll get it but it's here.

I hope you are having a wonderful holiday. Happy Easter, Happy Spring!

It's a rainy Saturday morning. The windows are open because when we went to bed last night, it was still fairly warm and I like sleeping with the windows open. This morning is grey, and chilly and is raining steadily. Pk won't be able to work on the car but he's surprisingly ok with that. His back is a little sore from all the bending over yesterday. He finally got most of the parts unassembled (this is why it would have been an expensive repair, the labor) and today was going to finish the unassembling and start the reassembling. But not today. Today he's going to rebuild his computer and sit on the shiatsu massage cushion I gave him for Christmas.

I thought I'd share what's on my needles today. This is my April Brown Bag sock. It's Tofutsie and the pattern is Tidal Wave, designed for this very thin, splitty yarn. It's perfect for summer socks but often a pain to work with. You can really feel the cotton. You can see my wip tube in the photo. I ordered this cardboard tube (and a set for Em) online after seeing an ad on ravelry. They hold the stitches on the needles if you're travelling with dpns. They're quite handy. And cheap. I got two sets of tubes plus two needle tubes for less than twenty dollars. So, I gave one tube to Kate and I have one.

This is my April ArtWalk sock yarn. It's inspired by an art deco paining by Tamara Lempicka. I love the painting and I LOVE the colors. It's brown and grey/black and look how it makes perfect little stripes. When I opened this package, Pk said "that would make nice socks for me" so, socks for him it is becoming. I wanted to use the Earl Grey pattern that the yarn harlot designed but it gets lost in the stripes so it's a 3x1 rib. You can't see the ribbing unless you stretch it out. It's a bamboo/superwash/nylon blend and a delight to work with. This yarn club has been great. Roxanne is so good with the colors and the range of paintings and styles has been interesting.

Having another knitter in the house is a great thing. Especially when the knitter is a brilliant young woman. My daughter Kate figured out the directions for adding a knitted edge onto the Wildflowers shawl and was able to show her pattern- directions -challenged mother. I kept trying and trying and could not grasp what the directions said. I looked it up online for more directions but could only find knitted edging where you pick up lots of stitches and knit. This picks up one stitch each row and works from there. Kate made this shawl for Em's birthday and it's beautiful. Here it is blocking on the squares I bought at BJ's. I wanted some of those squares that you can connect and rearrange to suit your project. They were expensive if you bought the ones that were designed for knitters. Pk found these in the wholesale club. They are foam floor tiles that lock together and they work perfectly and were rather inexpensive. Kate's shawl is made out of sock yarn and came out well. Mine is 100% bamboo yarn that Roxie gave me and will be slinky and sensuous feeling. I think I'll spend some time with it today.

I worked on Em's sweater last night but found I can only do a few long rows before my hands start to tingle and then ache. I attribute this to the thickness of the yarn and the plastic Denise needles. I am almost to the part where I put the sleeves onto waste yarn and join the front and back. It feels soft and warm.

Since tomorrow is Easter, I have some cooking to do. I have to make babka, potato salad and something for desert. I got some lovely big strawberries yesterday and some chocolate so I may try making chocolate covered strawberries and some cookies. Or an angel food cake (from a mix, no scratch today, too damp). The jury is still out on that one. I also have to set the baked beans up in the crock pot. Oh, and I have to hard boil some eggs so Pk and I can color them. We have always colored eggs, even before we had kids. Now, I'm never sure who will be home for it but I always boil the eggs and sometimes it's just the two of us. It's still fun. And that means devilled eggs for dinner tomorrow. Yum.

So, I guess I can't sit here much longer in my pajamas with my computer on my lap. Off to the shower. See you all tomorrow.

Isn't this a lovely photo? NOT! I tried to take a photo of my lovely girls while we were at Em's house last week for her birthday and she would not cooperate. So, once again, there is a shot in which people are restraining Emily in order to get her into the picture. I even tried the 'mom guilt' thing (I must be slipping because it didn't work) by telling her (truthfully) that I didn't have any photos of her because they were lost in the Great Computer ReBuild of 09. And my heart was broken by this.

No dice. The best I could do was have everyone try to hold her down. You can see part of Pk's head and El is in the back and that's Kate in the front. It's blurry and really an awful photo but I thought I'd share it anyway. We had a lovely time at Em's. She got some nice presents and made a delicious dinner. And there were no photos of the birthday girl.

The Road

The road goes ever ever on

Down from the door where it began

Now far away the road has gone

And I must follow if I can.

Pursuing it with eager feet

Until it joins some larger way

Where many paths and errands meet

And whither then?

I cannot say.

---Tolkien

I have probably posted that one before but I love it so here it is for a Friday morning. I'm off on the road to the grocery store to forage for food. Hopefully, I'll get done before the rain comes. Probably not what Tolkien had in mind when he wrote that.

Have a good end of the week!

I went to bed at 9:30 last night but you wouldn't know it by my energy level today. I'm dragging, really dragging. It's a short week and today is my last day and all I have to do is get through it. I was too late to eat at home so I'm eating a cereal bar and some milk here at my desk. Not quite the same....

The HR representative didn't like the way the doctor filled out the FMLA forms and I have to call and make another appointment to do them again. The doctor didn't put down a "course of treatment". I think that means she didn't write down that she wrote me a prescription and said to drink plenty of fluids and rest. It boggles the mind that I have to waste the time of a medical professional to write that. And just when I was thinking it was safe to stick my head up out of the trench.....

And because Kate was at the zoo on Tuesday and we were talking about animals, I remembered I have this book of poems by Ogden Nash. So, I'll leave you with a smile.

The Cat

You get a wife, you get a house.

Eventually you get a mouse.

You get some words regarding mice,

You get a kitty in a trice.

By two AM or thereabout,

The mouse is in, the cat is out.

It dawns upon you in your cot,

The mouse is silent, the cat is not.

Instead of Pussy, says your spouse,

You should have bought another mouse.

The Cow

The cow is of the bovine ilk;

One end is moo, the other milk.

The Guppy

Whales have calves,

Cats have kittens,

Bears have cubs,

Bats have bittens.

Swans have cygnets,

Seals have puppies,

But guppies just have little guppies.

And finally,

The Fly

The Lord in his wisdom made the fly.

And then forgot to tell us why.

--all poems from The Zoo by Ogden Nash.

So, now I'm off to get the day started. I figure the sooner it starts, the sooner it ends. Have a good one!

In honor of National Poetry Month, I want to share one of my favorites.

Halfway Down

Halfway down the stairs

is a stair'where I sit.

There isn't any

other stair

quite like

it.

I'm not at the bottom,

I'm not at the top;

So this is the stair

where

I always

stop.

Halfway up the stairs

isn't up

and isn't down.

It isn't in the nursery,

it isn't in the town.

And all sorts of funny thoughts

run round my head:

"It isn't really

anywhere!

It's somewhere else

instead!"

--A. A. Milne (from When We Were Very Young)

In the realm of great poetry, it probably doesn't deserve a mention. But all poetry doesn't have to have deep meaning and provoke profound thought. Sometimes it's ok for it to just make us smile. And this makes me smile.

And because it's Wednesday and therefore no real reason at all, here is another favorite from Mr. Milne

Six

When I was One

I was just begun.

When I was Two

I was nearly new.

When I was Three

I was hardly me.

When I was Four

I was not much more.

When I was Five

I was just alive.

But now I am Six and clever as clever.

I think I'll stay Six forever and ever.

(from Now We Are Six)

Enjoy your day. However old you are.

Some random Tuesday morning thoughts.

*I really hate it when someone on the train has one of those phones that work like a walkie-talkie and they hold loud conversations early in the morning.

*Most people don't look good in animal prints (like head to toe leopard)

*The guy in front of me on the train was a slow reader. I was way ready for him to change the page of the newspaper he was reading (and I was reading over his shoulder) before he was.

*There is a wasp nest the size of a socer ball high up in a tree that is on my way to work. I am allergic to stings so I am fascinated by the size of this thing. I thought at first that it was a bag or something that got caught. But I stopped the car and looked and sure enough, it's a nest. I spent much of the train ride trying to estimate how many wasps are asleep in there (when I wasn't reading the paper).

*I am not ready for Easter and have to keep reminding myself that it's Sunday. I guess since the kids aren't small anymore (although they still think they should get Easter baskets), and we are not a religious family, it doesn't carry the weight it once did. I'm thinking about Easter baskets and have to drag them out and see what kind of shape they're in.

*We just bought 4 new tires for PK's car and now it doesn't work. It needs a water pump and timing belt. Hopefully, there isn't any internal engine damage ($$$$$!) and he can fix it himself. We'll see Friday.

*I took Friday off so today is officially the middle of my week. In fact, my work week is half over. Nice optimistic thought.

*Our new computerized treatment plan takes me almost an hour to do. The old ones took about 15 minutes. It's driving me (and everyone else) crazy.

*Lots of people miss psychiatrist appointments. I have to send them letters giving them a chance to reschedule. I call everyone because I know that some of my folks are scattered and easily forget what they're supposed to do. I don't mind, it's part of my job.

Have a good Tuesday! I hope it's filled with good things and you remember all of your appointments.

This morning's commute was interesting. As we got out of the car at the train station (we ride PATCO, an electric train that runs over the Ben Franklin bridge into Philadelphia) there were big fat drops falling out of a dark sky. It was very still, the kind of stillness that precedes a storm. We got onto the train and I swore I heard thunder but Peter Kevin said he thought it was a train. Riding toward Phila, there was no doubt about the thunder as the sky got even darker and lightning flashed repeatedly and the rain poured down.

Now, imagine riding through an electrical storm, on an electrical train. Scary? You bet. Pk kept reassuring me that the train was well grounded and there was nothing to worry about. Fortunately, we rode right through the storm and came out the other side so when I got off the train, it was not pouring. It was wet and there were puddles everywhere but I made it into work dry. Something to be thankful for!

And now by popular demand,

Chocolate Almond Torte

(brought to you by Blue Diamond Almonds)

1 cup almonds roasted and finely ground
12 ounces chocolate (the darker the better according to PK)
1/4 c butter
2 Tablespoons flour
1/3 c sugar
6 eggs
1/4 c rum (or brandy) or 1 tsp rum (or brandy) extract


For torte:

Preheat oven to 375 degrees F

Prepare a 9" round cake pan by buttering it and then sprinkling 2 Tablespoons ground almonds on it. I use parchment or waxed paper on the bottom because this has a tendency to stick.

- Melt 9 ounces of chocolate with butter
- Beat eggs with sugar and flavoring until mixed
- Beat in remaining ground almonds and flour
- Add chocolate mixture and mix well

This batter may be very runny, depending on the chocolate you use. I've used Nestle's chocolate chips and it's been runny and then I used other chocolate and it's been thicker.

- Pour the batter into the pan and bake until a knife inserted in the center comes out clean. This has taken as few as 25 minutes and as many as 40 minutes. A lot depends on the chocolate.

Let torte cool in the pan for a few minutes and then put it onto a baking rack upside down. Let it cool completely and then make the glaze.

Glaze

Melt remaining chocolate, 6 Tablespoons sugar and 2 Tablespoons water and 6 Tablespoons rum (or 1/4 tsp rum extract) in a small pan until the mixture coats the back of a spoon. Again, the chocolate will make a huge difference in the texture.

Pour glaze over torte (it's not perfectly smooth because of the almonds on the outside) and spread evenly. The last one I made, I had to spread the glaze because it didn't pour. Usually, it pours and is glossy.

I leave it on the baking rack over a cookie sheet while I glaze it and the extra runs off onto the baking sheet. It's fairly easy to transfer to a platter to serve.

Decorate with almonds or sugars or leave it plain. Pk says this gets better the longer it sits. It's very fudgy and not terribly sweet. Children do not often like it.

And there you have it. It's easy and not too time consuming.

See you tomorrow!

Good Sunday morning. It's early. Way too early for any sensible person to be out of bed. I'm actually still in bed, or rather, on the bed, using my laptop. I was so tired when we got home from Em's last night that I didn't post. Four days into the month and I dropped the ball. I'll try to do better.

As promised, photos of the chocolate torte. I found the recipe in a magazine advertisement for almonds. I made it to take to a holiday party the first year we were married. Pk loved it so much, it became part of our holiday baking. Being a torte, it uses almost no flour, only 2 tablespoons. The rest of the dry ingredients are made up by finely ground almonds. I used super dark chocolate, butter and vanilla (we were out of rum, the usual flavoring) and mixed it together with a little sugar(and no leavening ingredients) to get this very rich batter. Which goes into the pan that is covered with butter and ground almonds, not flour. I used parchment paper cut into a circle to keep it from sticking to the bottom. After it bakes and cools, it's glazed with a mixture of melted chocolate, sugar and water and rum. Because I used different chocolate, the batter was thicker and the glaze was frosting-like and not as loose as normal. I used store bought sugar letters. Usually, it gets decorated with almonds but this was a birthday torte. All in all, it takes a pound of chocolate. You can see why this has become a favorite. One of Em's friends has a nut allergy and fortunately, he asked what was in the torte before he ate some. There was only a small bit left and a small bit of the pound cake we took with us left as well. Enough for Em to have for breakfast (a tradition in our family, birthday cake for breakfast).

I finished the March socks yesterday morning, in time to give them to Em. These are the socks made with the Mini Moochi. It's washable yarn, single ply and very soft. Very difficult to rip back if you need to for any reason. These were just plain toe up socks with 2x2 ribbing. The colors are great and they're very soft. (did I mention they're soft?) Em loved them. I started the April socks with the Tofutsie yarn. I used a SWTC pattern designed for the yarn. After the Mini Moochi yarn, this is like string. It's wool/cotton/soy/chitin mix and very thin. It's a huge contrast to the handspun socks I'm working on for the ravelry group.

And, because the sun is coming up and the birds are singing, in other words, a lovely morning, here's a photo of Sarasponda in the sunshine yesterday morning. I managed to spin a little yesterday but there wasn't much time. I'm hoping to remedy that today.

Enjoy your day!